Sue Volume Emu Love U.S.!
I have a couple new cartoons to post, but I'm still having scanner difficulties.
I hope I'll be able to get a new one with my Tax refund. In the meantime, please continue to enjoy these cartoons from my archive.
Friday, February 04, 2005
The Evil Dr. Palindrome!
Sue Volume Emu Love U.S.!
I have a couple new cartoons to post, but I'm still having scanner difficulties.
I hope I'll be able to get a new one with my Tax refund. In the meantime, please continue to enjoy these cartoons from my archive.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
f-ARTjoke
" I Assure You, Gentlemen, That came from the Cadaver!"
(after The Anatomy Lesson by Rembrandt)
The Evil Dr. Palindrome!
I leave it up to the reader to decide if Doc Palindrome is
evil enough to kill the girls because they won't go see
"Bikini Bloodbath" instead.
Would Sid Ska stop him?
Edmund Scientific: The World's Unluckiest Man.
Ever have one of those days?
Ya see, the real reason he's unlucky is that Farrah
didn't get around to calling him until after she had
gone totally nuts and made that "Dr. T." movie.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
HEY, LOOKIT WHAT I FOUND!
Fun Fact: SMUT is a fungus that grows on corn.
Click on the pic for a slightly larger version.
f-ARTjoke
The Boulevard of Broken Wind
(inspired by Nighthawks by Edward Hopper)
If the concept behind f-ARTjoke is unclear to you, please read the first entry of this block.
MODOK The Menace......by BenT
MODOK! Come Home This Instant!
How many times do I have to tell you
not to bother Mr. Wilson when he's gardening?
Welcome, everybody to a New direction in my On-Line presence. For the last couple years, I've been maintaining a geocities site to promote my artwork, but I think more people will be able to access my stuff if I put it out in blogspace, so now when I have a new cartoon for you, you'll find them here. I'll still maintain my storefront in the Geocities space. Go there and buy some comics. I need the money!
Until I get my scanner working again, I'll treat you to some pieces from my Archives that you might not have seen before.
This one is from a series I did called "MODOK The Menace" for George Tarleton's zine, The Journal of MODOK Studies.
(get a copy from Last Gasp here: http://www.lastgasp.com/d/23811/ )
It's a parody of Dennis The menace, with MODOK (the Marvel Comics Villain) as a hateful young child. Of course Henry and Alice Mitchell will always be seen only in their AIM suits.
The Evil Dr. Palindrome!
Dr. Palindrome was born with a bizarre speech impediment.
He can only speak in Palindromes.
As an infant it was easy. He had no problem relating with MOM or DAD.
His siblings even changed their names to ANNA and OTTO so that baby brother could call them by name.
But as he grew, it became increasingly difficult to converse and relate to the Real World.
He matured into a rather twisted genius, and surrendered to the dark side.
I first used him as the Villain in my classic, out-of-print, mini-comic SKA-Toons.
Issue #5 it was, from 1996. I might have a few copies left in boxes somewhere. If you ask me nicely, I might sell you one.
He was a hard character to use in a continuity, because of his weird dialogue. He works much better as a panel cartoon.
I apologize for the small scale of these older cartoons. I scanned them at around 300 pixels wide to make them fit better on the old site. I'll be scanning the new cartoons in a little larger from now on, but as long as I'm transferring from my archives, You'll have to bear with the smaller images.
f-ARTjoke
"Dogs Playing With Fire"
(Inspired by A Friend In Need, and others in the series by Coleridge)
This early piece from 2000 is still my favorite of all of my f-ARTjoke parodies.
I had to use it to inaugurate this new blog direction.
The concept behind f-ARTjoke is simple. I take a famous work of art,
or a famous artist's style, and create a parody of it with a theme of flatulence.
It's kind of a Low-Brow dig at Hi-Brow snootiness. I'm out to make art-snobs
regret having their noses in the air!
If you can't wait for me to post more of these here, you can go to my storefront
and buy a set of the f-ARTjoke mini-comics.
It comes with a Whoopie Cushion on which I'll hand-sketch a cartoon for you! http://geocities.com/bent4toons/store.html
Saturday, November 06, 2004
For some dumb reason, I was thinking about Burl Ives...
...and I wondered, if somebody reminds you of Burl Ives, how do you describe that person? You have to resort to general descriptives, like Husky, Jolly, Grandfatherly, etc. But you can't use a term that would specifically call forth the Burl Ives metaphor.
Burly? Burlish? Burlesque? Ivy? they're all taken.
It's not fair. People who behave like Don Quixote can be "quixotic" -Burlic? Ivesic?
Why aren't folks who resemble Don Ho called Holy?
I guess you run into similar trouble if you want to compare somebody to Noel Coward.
How can you call them Cowardly, and have it sound like a compliment?
...and I wondered, if somebody reminds you of Burl Ives, how do you describe that person? You have to resort to general descriptives, like Husky, Jolly, Grandfatherly, etc. But you can't use a term that would specifically call forth the Burl Ives metaphor.
Burly? Burlish? Burlesque? Ivy? they're all taken.
It's not fair. People who behave like Don Quixote can be "quixotic" -Burlic? Ivesic?
Why aren't folks who resemble Don Ho called Holy?
I guess you run into similar trouble if you want to compare somebody to Noel Coward.
How can you call them Cowardly, and have it sound like a compliment?
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Last Night was Trick-Or-Treat night in our neighborhood, and we had a refreshing rennaisance. In the last couple years, we were lucky if we got twenty kids, and if we had three houses on the block with lights on.
Last Night 59 kids stopped at our door, and looking down the street I saw lights at five other houses. That's still a far cry from the 120 kids we had eight years ago, and when you consider that there are 26 houses on my block, only 6 participating houses is still rather lame.
We had Whoppers and Kit-Kats, and those new Butterfinger Crisp wafer things. I also had set aside some promotional items from the theater; Mini-Posters for "Thunderbirds" and Yu-Gi-Oh promo cards. We got rid of it all, save for about a dozen Butterfingers, and what's left of those will be in my Coat Pockets as i judge our Halloween Parade tomorrow.
I try and be there for the neighborhood kids when it comes to Halloween, if only because I took so much candy out of this neighborhood when I was little. These poor kids today, who came by door with their half-filled bags, would freak out if they saw the neighborhood in the Early 70s, when we'd have to map out a route that brought us back to Homebase halfway through the evening. That pit stop was needed, to dump our full pillowcase of candy, and get another empty for the rest of the neighborhood. (...and maybe to stick a spare mask in a coat pocket, so we could re-visit the house that had the full-size candy bars.)
It wasn't just Halloween when I was little. In the Summer, The mailman usually had a bag of taffys in his truck each day when he came around. If we missed the mailman on his rounds, we could usualy round up a couple deposit bottles, and take them back to the corner gas station, get a dime, and buy an ice cream bar. Now as Parents, my generation recycles everything, and we rob the kids of that little lesson in industriousness.
What I'd like to do for the town at Halloween is DJ on the Square downtown right before the Parade gets there. I certainly have more than enough Halloween-Themed Rock&Roll songs to fill a few hours, and that would be without using most of the obscure songs. Maybe Tomorrow as I'm Judging the parade, I can put a bee in somebody's bonnet for next year.
Speaking of Music, I got up early this morning and went to an auction, where I scored a whole boxful of 50s and 60s Lounge/exotica/easy listening records -about 70 albums and a couple promotional acetates, all in near-mint condition. For a whole $2.00! Perry Como, Doris Day, Engelbert, Dick Hyman, Andre Kostelanetz, Boston Pops, Nat King Cole, Maurice Chevalier, Sophie Tucker, Mother Maybelle Carter, Jimmy Durante, Paul Weston, Johnny Mathis, Art Mooney, Les Elgart, and more! Sure, If I came across this stuff at the thrift store, I'd pass most of it up, but I figure I got much more than my Money's worth on the Jimmy Durante and Maybelle Carter records alone! There are a few weirdos in the group, and you'll seen them soon at http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
Last Night 59 kids stopped at our door, and looking down the street I saw lights at five other houses. That's still a far cry from the 120 kids we had eight years ago, and when you consider that there are 26 houses on my block, only 6 participating houses is still rather lame.
We had Whoppers and Kit-Kats, and those new Butterfinger Crisp wafer things. I also had set aside some promotional items from the theater; Mini-Posters for "Thunderbirds" and Yu-Gi-Oh promo cards. We got rid of it all, save for about a dozen Butterfingers, and what's left of those will be in my Coat Pockets as i judge our Halloween Parade tomorrow.
I try and be there for the neighborhood kids when it comes to Halloween, if only because I took so much candy out of this neighborhood when I was little. These poor kids today, who came by door with their half-filled bags, would freak out if they saw the neighborhood in the Early 70s, when we'd have to map out a route that brought us back to Homebase halfway through the evening. That pit stop was needed, to dump our full pillowcase of candy, and get another empty for the rest of the neighborhood. (...and maybe to stick a spare mask in a coat pocket, so we could re-visit the house that had the full-size candy bars.)
It wasn't just Halloween when I was little. In the Summer, The mailman usually had a bag of taffys in his truck each day when he came around. If we missed the mailman on his rounds, we could usualy round up a couple deposit bottles, and take them back to the corner gas station, get a dime, and buy an ice cream bar. Now as Parents, my generation recycles everything, and we rob the kids of that little lesson in industriousness.
What I'd like to do for the town at Halloween is DJ on the Square downtown right before the Parade gets there. I certainly have more than enough Halloween-Themed Rock&Roll songs to fill a few hours, and that would be without using most of the obscure songs. Maybe Tomorrow as I'm Judging the parade, I can put a bee in somebody's bonnet for next year.
Speaking of Music, I got up early this morning and went to an auction, where I scored a whole boxful of 50s and 60s Lounge/exotica/easy listening records -about 70 albums and a couple promotional acetates, all in near-mint condition. For a whole $2.00! Perry Como, Doris Day, Engelbert, Dick Hyman, Andre Kostelanetz, Boston Pops, Nat King Cole, Maurice Chevalier, Sophie Tucker, Mother Maybelle Carter, Jimmy Durante, Paul Weston, Johnny Mathis, Art Mooney, Les Elgart, and more! Sure, If I came across this stuff at the thrift store, I'd pass most of it up, but I figure I got much more than my Money's worth on the Jimmy Durante and Maybelle Carter records alone! There are a few weirdos in the group, and you'll seen them soon at http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
Monday, October 25, 2004
My Brief Career in Film is over.
I spent most of the afternoon today taking apart movies. Last Night was the closing night at the theater where I'd been employed as projectionist/asst. manager since May.
The last film shown last night was The Bourne Supremacy.
Today we began gutting the theater. I'd taken apart three of the last ten films we'd been showing last night, and today I had to take apart the other seven films, put em back in their cans, and get 'em ready for the distributor to pick up.
The First day I worked there, my first duty was to assemble Kill Bill Vol 2. It was somewhat fitting that the last thing I did on my last day was take apart the Jet Li flick, Hero.
It wasn't a total downer of a day, though.
I found a Mint copy of Martin Denny's Quiet Village LP, and a couple BLOTTO EPs at the Goodwill, and the PEZ I'd Ordered from Steve Glew got here.
I got the European SHREK 2 dispensers, and a PEZ GUN!
Donkey and Shrek came with a pack of Cherry Pez!
I spent most of the afternoon today taking apart movies. Last Night was the closing night at the theater where I'd been employed as projectionist/asst. manager since May.
The last film shown last night was The Bourne Supremacy.
Today we began gutting the theater. I'd taken apart three of the last ten films we'd been showing last night, and today I had to take apart the other seven films, put em back in their cans, and get 'em ready for the distributor to pick up.
The First day I worked there, my first duty was to assemble Kill Bill Vol 2. It was somewhat fitting that the last thing I did on my last day was take apart the Jet Li flick, Hero.
It wasn't a total downer of a day, though.
I found a Mint copy of Martin Denny's Quiet Village LP, and a couple BLOTTO EPs at the Goodwill, and the PEZ I'd Ordered from Steve Glew got here.
I got the European SHREK 2 dispensers, and a PEZ GUN!
Donkey and Shrek came with a pack of Cherry Pez!
Friday, October 15, 2004
The Lion King Pez Dispensers have arrived.
I just found these at the Dollar Tree near my House this afternoon. New Pez!
I only saw these five. Why No Rafiki?
Pez is really cranking out the New dispenser designs these last couple years. I guess it's in direct response to the collector interest in the old ones. It used to be there'd be maybe One All-New set of dispensers a year, One Licensed Set, and maybe there'd be a few minor changes to the Holiday assortments at Halloween, Christmas and Easter. You could get thru the year only having to buy maybe ten dispensers, and still be a completist.
Nowadays, They seem to do two or three Licensed sets a year for the U.S., and maybe another three or four sets for Europe and Canada, and then there's at least one set of Pez original designs added also. Just to keep up with the standard dispensers, you need to buy upwards of forty to fifty dispensers a year.
That's not counting all the special dispensers from CapCom and other companies, the watches, keychains, flashlights, partyfavors, cereal box prizes, etc. Not to mention the special limited edition promoyional giveaways and Premiums, and the exclusive dispensers offered at Pez.com, and the color variants, and the special see-thru special editions....etc.
I think that they've entered the realm of the "manufactured collectible" here, and since I hardly can finish the candy before another new dispenser hits the stores, I'm going to scale back my collecting to only those standard designs that I find in stores. besides, i need to get a new storage cabinet because i don't have space to display the ones I have now.
Monday, October 11, 2004
I'd Started bringing the stale Popcorn home to feed the birds...
...and ended up feeding the squirrels and other wildlife in our yard as well.
This morning, I watched in amazement as one of the larger squirrels foraged on the popcorn I'd scattered over our mulch pile in the corner of the yard. Less than four feet away, perched on the fence, watching the squirrel, was one of the Falcons that has moved into our neighborhood.
It's so cool to see a wild falcon in my backyard. The weird thing was, the squirrel didn't seem to be afraid. It calmly selected a kernel, and then scampered up the fence into the Wistaria, and safely nibbled. The Falcon must have decided then to select an easier meal, and flew towards the front yard, which brought it right past the window from where I watched. Better than a three-foot wingspan, easily.
The squirrel then calmly scampered back down for another kernel.
If I don't find work in another theater, I'm soon going to have to make fresh popcorn at home for the critters. At least then i can make it without salt, perhaps. Then I can put it on the grass in other areas of the lawn without worrying about the salt ruining the grass.
...and ended up feeding the squirrels and other wildlife in our yard as well.
This morning, I watched in amazement as one of the larger squirrels foraged on the popcorn I'd scattered over our mulch pile in the corner of the yard. Less than four feet away, perched on the fence, watching the squirrel, was one of the Falcons that has moved into our neighborhood.
It's so cool to see a wild falcon in my backyard. The weird thing was, the squirrel didn't seem to be afraid. It calmly selected a kernel, and then scampered up the fence into the Wistaria, and safely nibbled. The Falcon must have decided then to select an easier meal, and flew towards the front yard, which brought it right past the window from where I watched. Better than a three-foot wingspan, easily.
The squirrel then calmly scampered back down for another kernel.
If I don't find work in another theater, I'm soon going to have to make fresh popcorn at home for the critters. At least then i can make it without salt, perhaps. Then I can put it on the grass in other areas of the lawn without worrying about the salt ruining the grass.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
It's Official. Penn State Sucks yet again. They're off to a great 2 and 4 start, and, at 0 and 3 in the Big Ten, make the kids at Northwestern proud of themselves again.
I want Joe Paterno to give me back the hours of my life I've wasted watching his shitty teams these last few years.
I need to reconfirm my belief that Professional Athletes are merely Prostitutes, doing things with their bodies for money that most of us would do for fun.
To extrapolate, I guess then that Amateur and College athletes are just Sluts.
There are just to many better things to do on a Sunny Fall Saturday Afternoon.
I want Joe Paterno to give me back the hours of my life I've wasted watching his shitty teams these last few years.
I need to reconfirm my belief that Professional Athletes are merely Prostitutes, doing things with their bodies for money that most of us would do for fun.
To extrapolate, I guess then that Amateur and College athletes are just Sluts.
There are just to many better things to do on a Sunny Fall Saturday Afternoon.
Well, My Brief Career in the "Entertainment Industry" may be near its end...
I found out yesterday that the Second-Run theater at which I've been Assistant Managing since May will be closing October 24. The Mall we're in, which is practically empty, and fondly referred to by myself as "Mall Of The Dead" is slated to be torn down and redeveloped, and the new plans don't include a theater. Shame.
This theater, which opened in January of 1974 as a United Artists tri-plex, and became a five-plex by December of the same year was one of my favorite places to hang out as a kid. I was really enjoying showing 2-dollar movies in the place where I saw Gumball Rally, 1941, The Jerk, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Rocky Horror, Young Frankenstein, and The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. The Latter film, with Lee Marvin, was my first R film. My cousin took me to it when I was 12. My first tits on film were in that picture.
United Artists closed down there in 1998, and the place reopened shortly thereafter as a second-run house. My company took it over in 2002.
As I come to think of it, this was the last of the places I used to hang out in before I left for College that was still standing. Four of the town's old malls have died and been redeveloped into new, different retail sites. Four of the old 70s bowling alleys are gone. All three of our Drive-ins (four, if you count the X-rated Drive-In) are gone, turned into Housing developments or shopping centers. The Old ice Rink is now the Roller Rink, and of the old roller rinks, one burnt down, and the other, now vacant, will be demolished with my mall. The old community swimming pool no longer has a deep end, for fear of lawsuits. Even most of the bars I frequented in the 1980s are gone.
About all that's left are the graveyards we used to whistle past.
Well anyway, the owner of my Theater says she wants to open a new location somewhere in York, but I don't know of an existing venue, and if she finds one, I don't see her having it open before January. She's keeping her theater in Harrisburg, 30 miles away, open. My boss is moving up there to take charge of that one. He says he might have to "clean house" up there, and could have a spot for me (I mentioned a corresponding raise to make up for the $4 a day more I'd have to spend on gas alone,) but otherwise I'm eligible for unemployment. I guess the upside is that I should get more per week than when I got canned from Papa John's because the UC folks didn't calculate tips into my earnings.
Still, I'd rather not have to look for work again.
I felt like going out tonight to happy hour at the tittybar, to lift my spirits, but instead, I drove over to Lancaster County, and searched the record bins at their Goodwill outlets. I found about 27 albums on vinyl ranging between 25 and 75 cents each, and even a CD of Lou Reed's Transformer for just a quarter! So I'm not feeling too bad.
Some of the albums I found today are strange enough that they'll end up on my other blog. You can check it out here:
http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
I found out yesterday that the Second-Run theater at which I've been Assistant Managing since May will be closing October 24. The Mall we're in, which is practically empty, and fondly referred to by myself as "Mall Of The Dead" is slated to be torn down and redeveloped, and the new plans don't include a theater. Shame.
This theater, which opened in January of 1974 as a United Artists tri-plex, and became a five-plex by December of the same year was one of my favorite places to hang out as a kid. I was really enjoying showing 2-dollar movies in the place where I saw Gumball Rally, 1941, The Jerk, Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Rocky Horror, Young Frankenstein, and The Great Scout and Cathouse Thursday. The Latter film, with Lee Marvin, was my first R film. My cousin took me to it when I was 12. My first tits on film were in that picture.
United Artists closed down there in 1998, and the place reopened shortly thereafter as a second-run house. My company took it over in 2002.
As I come to think of it, this was the last of the places I used to hang out in before I left for College that was still standing. Four of the town's old malls have died and been redeveloped into new, different retail sites. Four of the old 70s bowling alleys are gone. All three of our Drive-ins (four, if you count the X-rated Drive-In) are gone, turned into Housing developments or shopping centers. The Old ice Rink is now the Roller Rink, and of the old roller rinks, one burnt down, and the other, now vacant, will be demolished with my mall. The old community swimming pool no longer has a deep end, for fear of lawsuits. Even most of the bars I frequented in the 1980s are gone.
About all that's left are the graveyards we used to whistle past.
Well anyway, the owner of my Theater says she wants to open a new location somewhere in York, but I don't know of an existing venue, and if she finds one, I don't see her having it open before January. She's keeping her theater in Harrisburg, 30 miles away, open. My boss is moving up there to take charge of that one. He says he might have to "clean house" up there, and could have a spot for me (I mentioned a corresponding raise to make up for the $4 a day more I'd have to spend on gas alone,) but otherwise I'm eligible for unemployment. I guess the upside is that I should get more per week than when I got canned from Papa John's because the UC folks didn't calculate tips into my earnings.
Still, I'd rather not have to look for work again.
I felt like going out tonight to happy hour at the tittybar, to lift my spirits, but instead, I drove over to Lancaster County, and searched the record bins at their Goodwill outlets. I found about 27 albums on vinyl ranging between 25 and 75 cents each, and even a CD of Lou Reed's Transformer for just a quarter! So I'm not feeling too bad.
Some of the albums I found today are strange enough that they'll end up on my other blog. You can check it out here:
http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
Monday, September 27, 2004
Saturday, September 25, 2004
I've grown pretty bored with this blog
I wouldn't read it to my dog.
It needs a new gimmerick
like posting in limerick,
to give its charisma a jog.
I'm off on a Saturday Night.
I'm broke and the TV ain't right.
The Brit-TV re-runs
have given me the runs
that squirt cause my asshole is tight.
I bet that you think that it's funny
Because you have plenty of money,
You're out on a Date
while I sit here and wait
for a trip to the bowl that ain't runny.
I hope you're convulsing with laughter,
and you're happy to the ever after,
But if you think there's truth in
These poems I do within
my basement -I'm crazy?- You're Dafter.
I wouldn't read it to my dog.
It needs a new gimmerick
like posting in limerick,
to give its charisma a jog.
I'm off on a Saturday Night.
I'm broke and the TV ain't right.
The Brit-TV re-runs
have given me the runs
that squirt cause my asshole is tight.
I bet that you think that it's funny
Because you have plenty of money,
You're out on a Date
while I sit here and wait
for a trip to the bowl that ain't runny.
I hope you're convulsing with laughter,
and you're happy to the ever after,
But if you think there's truth in
These poems I do within
my basement -I'm crazy?- You're Dafter.
Monday, September 20, 2004
Long Time, No See, Revisited.
Hello again. Half of the Susquehanna Valley is still flooded with the rains of Ivan, but I live on High Ground, in an Ivory Tower. All we got was a lot of wind and rain, and nicer, cooler sleeping weather as the high built in behind the system. If not for Mom and Dad letting me keep my aprtment in the basement, I might be in worse straits. I might have been living in the proverbial Van by the River. Well at least I would be in a new neighborhood now if that were the case.
Today my shampoo was jellied again for the first time in several months. That's a sure sign of cooler weather. I still wore shorts when I went out record shopping, though. I like how I look in shorts. Like a weird old guy in shorts. White ones. After Labor Day. Iconoclast.
If you want to see the kind of stuff I buy, visit my other blog:
http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
That's where I spend more time these days.
Hello again. Half of the Susquehanna Valley is still flooded with the rains of Ivan, but I live on High Ground, in an Ivory Tower. All we got was a lot of wind and rain, and nicer, cooler sleeping weather as the high built in behind the system. If not for Mom and Dad letting me keep my aprtment in the basement, I might be in worse straits. I might have been living in the proverbial Van by the River. Well at least I would be in a new neighborhood now if that were the case.
Today my shampoo was jellied again for the first time in several months. That's a sure sign of cooler weather. I still wore shorts when I went out record shopping, though. I like how I look in shorts. Like a weird old guy in shorts. White ones. After Labor Day. Iconoclast.
If you want to see the kind of stuff I buy, visit my other blog:
http://bentrecords.blogspot.com
That's where I spend more time these days.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Long Time No See. I've been busy in the Entertainment Industry.
I haven't been around much because I've been helping to manage the local second-run Movie theater. Summer hours, with Matinees daily make for long workdays.
I thought I'd start using this blogspace as a place to brainstorm story ideas, to keep them on record, and perhaps to invite comment on the ideas from anybody who might read this.
How about a story about a man who has lucid dreams. He originally uses this power purely to indulge his fantasies, i.e., he imagines Heather Locklear naked, and POOF! she's in his dream, naked. Later the man learns that he is actually controlling her dreams, too. She's on Leno, talking about how she's been having these weird dreams lately where she's naked. "Oh, I've had those. I dream about you naked pretty Often," says Jay.
Our protagonist now tries to see if he can influence other people. He steers his dream toward the pretty girl at work that always ignores him. In his dream, he tells her that tulips are sexy.
The next day, she has tulips on her desk, and she seems to recognize him as he passes.
So. he has a power. What does he do with it? hmmm. Enter the dreams of the president? Try to Influence policy? Enter the dreams of Wall Street, and steer the market? What if his mind snaps, and he begins to emulate Freddy Kreuger?
I'll sleep on this one and see what happens.
I haven't been around much because I've been helping to manage the local second-run Movie theater. Summer hours, with Matinees daily make for long workdays.
I thought I'd start using this blogspace as a place to brainstorm story ideas, to keep them on record, and perhaps to invite comment on the ideas from anybody who might read this.
How about a story about a man who has lucid dreams. He originally uses this power purely to indulge his fantasies, i.e., he imagines Heather Locklear naked, and POOF! she's in his dream, naked. Later the man learns that he is actually controlling her dreams, too. She's on Leno, talking about how she's been having these weird dreams lately where she's naked. "Oh, I've had those. I dream about you naked pretty Often," says Jay.
Our protagonist now tries to see if he can influence other people. He steers his dream toward the pretty girl at work that always ignores him. In his dream, he tells her that tulips are sexy.
The next day, she has tulips on her desk, and she seems to recognize him as he passes.
So. he has a power. What does he do with it? hmmm. Enter the dreams of the president? Try to Influence policy? Enter the dreams of Wall Street, and steer the market? What if his mind snaps, and he begins to emulate Freddy Kreuger?
I'll sleep on this one and see what happens.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Okay, where is that Yard full of 17-yr-old Nymphs I'm waiting for?
I expected they would be here by now, singing thru-out the evening to me and flitting all about my neighborhood, desperate to have sex!
Have they become too shy to come out of their shells?
I want my Cicadas, Dammit! Where are They? It's almost the end of May and they haven't surfaced yet around here. All of the Media have been blitzing us for two months now about the coming Cicada Invasion. Ocean City Md, has been using "get Away from The Cicadas" as a reason to go to the shore in their Ad campaigns. I bet they're upset that people aren't flocking to the beach yet.
Okay you Lazy Cicadas of Pennsylvania, wake the hell up already. If you continue to just loaf around underground, those more industrious Cicadas down in Maryland and Virginia that are already out there are going to get all the good jobs and the hottest looking Cicada babes. Get off you asses already! Don't make me get my shovel and dig up that playstation I buried for you. I didn't mean for you to sit around all Summer playing the damned thing.
I expected they would be here by now, singing thru-out the evening to me and flitting all about my neighborhood, desperate to have sex!
Have they become too shy to come out of their shells?
I want my Cicadas, Dammit! Where are They? It's almost the end of May and they haven't surfaced yet around here. All of the Media have been blitzing us for two months now about the coming Cicada Invasion. Ocean City Md, has been using "get Away from The Cicadas" as a reason to go to the shore in their Ad campaigns. I bet they're upset that people aren't flocking to the beach yet.
Okay you Lazy Cicadas of Pennsylvania, wake the hell up already. If you continue to just loaf around underground, those more industrious Cicadas down in Maryland and Virginia that are already out there are going to get all the good jobs and the hottest looking Cicada babes. Get off you asses already! Don't make me get my shovel and dig up that playstation I buried for you. I didn't mean for you to sit around all Summer playing the damned thing.
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Hello! I'm still alive.
I just haven't been in a mood to blog much.
That and I rediscovered SIMcity 2000 on my Playstation for a few days. That's a good way to waste many hours and make both your butt and your eyes sore.
Egad, so many things I do make my eyes sore. Watching movies, swimming in chlorinated pools, surfing the net, Playstation, reading, drawing. When i do eventually go blind, I don't know how I'll keep myself distracted. I guess I'll listen to music. I won't know which freaking record I'm putting on until it starts to play, but maybe I could finally get thru my collection in under a year.
Speaking of Music... The new Southern Culture on The Skids Album (MOJO BOX) is a hoot! Incredible! Big thanks to Steve Hager for surprising me with a free copy. He also passed on a copy of his mini-comic, Dutchy Digest. Pretty funny stuff if you've ever lived around Pennsylvania Dutch Country. A few choice double entendres among the Amish, and a recipe for Shoo Fly Pie.
I'm still waiting to hear on a new job., and trying to keep my meager monthly bills payed by selling my minis and my original art. The originals go okay on ebay if they have a popular subject matter , like Joey Ramone, the Freakies cereal, Screaming Jay Hawkins, etc. But my other stuff doesn't have enough buzz to garner many hits on an ebay search. So I've set up a new page at my site where I'll be offering my originals to you, my few fans who I keep entertained with this blog and stuff. Be sure and check out the Ben T. Steckler Original Art Store!
I just haven't been in a mood to blog much.
That and I rediscovered SIMcity 2000 on my Playstation for a few days. That's a good way to waste many hours and make both your butt and your eyes sore.
Egad, so many things I do make my eyes sore. Watching movies, swimming in chlorinated pools, surfing the net, Playstation, reading, drawing. When i do eventually go blind, I don't know how I'll keep myself distracted. I guess I'll listen to music. I won't know which freaking record I'm putting on until it starts to play, but maybe I could finally get thru my collection in under a year.
Speaking of Music... The new Southern Culture on The Skids Album (MOJO BOX) is a hoot! Incredible! Big thanks to Steve Hager for surprising me with a free copy. He also passed on a copy of his mini-comic, Dutchy Digest. Pretty funny stuff if you've ever lived around Pennsylvania Dutch Country. A few choice double entendres among the Amish, and a recipe for Shoo Fly Pie.
I'm still waiting to hear on a new job., and trying to keep my meager monthly bills payed by selling my minis and my original art. The originals go okay on ebay if they have a popular subject matter , like Joey Ramone, the Freakies cereal, Screaming Jay Hawkins, etc. But my other stuff doesn't have enough buzz to garner many hits on an ebay search. So I've set up a new page at my site where I'll be offering my originals to you, my few fans who I keep entertained with this blog and stuff. Be sure and check out the Ben T. Steckler Original Art Store!
Thursday, April 01, 2004
I'm not going to post today.
April Fools!
Oh boy. I really had you going there. You should have seen the look of disappointment on your face! Priceless!
Now go here and watch cartoon characters sell cigarettes.
I have a convention to pack for.
April Fools!
Oh boy. I really had you going there. You should have seen the look of disappointment on your face! Priceless!
Now go here and watch cartoon characters sell cigarettes.
I have a convention to pack for.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
I came in to tell you about what a great Movie Eternal Sunshine of The Spotless Mind is.
Excellent. Another great Charlie Kauffman mind-blower script. Maybe all Hollywood needs to get Philip K. Dick done right for once is to have Charlie Kauffman do the treatment.
I offer this hint to people who have trouble following the scenes in the film. I know the non-linear storytelling with myriad multi-layered flashbacks and lucid dream reinterpretations of memories had my movie buddy Eric confused. Look at Kate Winslet's hair color in her scenes. It changes back and forth from Blue to orange to blue to green to orange to blue to green, etc. If you lay out the story chronologically, her hair color goes from green to orange to blue. This will help you figure out when you're in flashback and when you're in real time.
Now I have to address this problem of why my blog entries from the last two days have vanished, and why I'm missing many other days as i look back over the last six months or so. I swear that I've been writing in this blog every day, but now there are missing entries. And when I look at the photos on my walls, I get that feeling like when I forget to wear my watch, but still look at my bare wrist to check the time.
Excellent. Another great Charlie Kauffman mind-blower script. Maybe all Hollywood needs to get Philip K. Dick done right for once is to have Charlie Kauffman do the treatment.
I offer this hint to people who have trouble following the scenes in the film. I know the non-linear storytelling with myriad multi-layered flashbacks and lucid dream reinterpretations of memories had my movie buddy Eric confused. Look at Kate Winslet's hair color in her scenes. It changes back and forth from Blue to orange to blue to green to orange to blue to green, etc. If you lay out the story chronologically, her hair color goes from green to orange to blue. This will help you figure out when you're in flashback and when you're in real time.
Now I have to address this problem of why my blog entries from the last two days have vanished, and why I'm missing many other days as i look back over the last six months or so. I swear that I've been writing in this blog every day, but now there are missing entries. And when I look at the photos on my walls, I get that feeling like when I forget to wear my watch, but still look at my bare wrist to check the time.
Sunday, March 21, 2004
Yesterday, I'm at our local dead mall to check for money in my POB, and to my surprise there were other people in the place. Well, it was a Saturday afternoon, and maybe the $2 theater was actually showing something that somebody wanted to see. So as I'm walking past the gumball machines near the exit, there are two boys, around 13 or 14, hanging out on the bench there. They were dressed in current hip-hop fashion, with the shiny new sneakers, so we aren't talking destitute kids here.
As i walk by, one says "excuse, me," and even thoughI could smell his huge wad of gum from ten feet away as soon as he opened his mouth, I acknowledged him, because he at least said "excuse me".
"Do You have a quarter?"
I'm thinking. What is with kids today, if they will stoop to begging from a stranger, while wearing $100 sneakers? If they were truly poor kids, they were poor kids with parents with their priorities out of whack.
I felt like saying "Yes. I have a quarter. Do you have a Mother? Get a quarter from her."
I mean it's not like the kids were standing next to the payphone, looking distraught and needing to call home quickly. I'd gladly loan somebody money for a phonecall if it looked like an emergency, or a stranded kid. I'd even welcome them, perhaps, as a fellow soldier in the war against the pervasive presence of cell phones. But these kids were just lounging by the gumball machines, chewing away at their latex cuds.
I made a judgement call, and said, "No. You'll just throw it all away on Gum."
Somebody needs to teach these kids a lesson.
You don't hang around the dead mall and beg for stray quarters. You go across the highway to the busy mall, and get more volume!
Or you set yourself up a paypal site, and beg electronically.
Donations to help this struggling cartoonist pay off his car insurance this week can be sent to paypal ID: bsteckler@suscom.net
(I'm only wearing $30 sneakers, and they are the same Chuck Taylors I've been wearing for almost a year now. Please help.)
As i walk by, one says "excuse, me," and even thoughI could smell his huge wad of gum from ten feet away as soon as he opened his mouth, I acknowledged him, because he at least said "excuse me".
"Do You have a quarter?"
I'm thinking. What is with kids today, if they will stoop to begging from a stranger, while wearing $100 sneakers? If they were truly poor kids, they were poor kids with parents with their priorities out of whack.
I felt like saying "Yes. I have a quarter. Do you have a Mother? Get a quarter from her."
I mean it's not like the kids were standing next to the payphone, looking distraught and needing to call home quickly. I'd gladly loan somebody money for a phonecall if it looked like an emergency, or a stranded kid. I'd even welcome them, perhaps, as a fellow soldier in the war against the pervasive presence of cell phones. But these kids were just lounging by the gumball machines, chewing away at their latex cuds.
I made a judgement call, and said, "No. You'll just throw it all away on Gum."
Somebody needs to teach these kids a lesson.
You don't hang around the dead mall and beg for stray quarters. You go across the highway to the busy mall, and get more volume!
Or you set yourself up a paypal site, and beg electronically.
Donations to help this struggling cartoonist pay off his car insurance this week can be sent to paypal ID: bsteckler@suscom.net
(I'm only wearing $30 sneakers, and they are the same Chuck Taylors I've been wearing for almost a year now. Please help.)
Saturday, March 20, 2004
Aah! Spring!
What Have I hated most about this winter? My shampoo has had the consistency of Jell-O almost every morning. The Window sill in my Shower is one of the worst insulated areas of my House. I guess it's partly a side effect of venting all the humidity from the shower. As a result, my shampoo often congeals, as if it's been kept in the refrigerator all night. It doesn't help that this window is on the Northern face of the House, and thus never gets direct sunlight.
When the shampoo turns into this semi-solid, it's hard to squeeze out a proper dollop, and often the glops I get bounce or slide off my wet palm before I can get it up to my head.
Last week, we had a warm spell, and I was relieved the first morning when I could easily pour out a proper serving of shampoo. But this week, it's been cold again, and it's been back to washing my hair with Jell-O.
I suppose I might not have this problem if I went with a shampoo that cost more than a buck-twenty-five a bottle. But, other than the little problem of the consistency, I am very happy with my White Rain. And even though I shampoo at least six times a week, I rarely use more than one bottle a year. It's a good shampoo value.
I find it a tad ironic that a shampoo would have a brand name that is a homophone for the ultimate skinhead goal, though.
What Have I hated most about this winter? My shampoo has had the consistency of Jell-O almost every morning. The Window sill in my Shower is one of the worst insulated areas of my House. I guess it's partly a side effect of venting all the humidity from the shower. As a result, my shampoo often congeals, as if it's been kept in the refrigerator all night. It doesn't help that this window is on the Northern face of the House, and thus never gets direct sunlight.
When the shampoo turns into this semi-solid, it's hard to squeeze out a proper dollop, and often the glops I get bounce or slide off my wet palm before I can get it up to my head.
Last week, we had a warm spell, and I was relieved the first morning when I could easily pour out a proper serving of shampoo. But this week, it's been cold again, and it's been back to washing my hair with Jell-O.
I suppose I might not have this problem if I went with a shampoo that cost more than a buck-twenty-five a bottle. But, other than the little problem of the consistency, I am very happy with my White Rain. And even though I shampoo at least six times a week, I rarely use more than one bottle a year. It's a good shampoo value.
I find it a tad ironic that a shampoo would have a brand name that is a homophone for the ultimate skinhead goal, though.
Wednesday, March 17, 2004
Happy St. Patrick's Day! The day we all get to pretend we're Irish. We go out, get drunk, and our neighbors get bombed.
But the hell with that Catholic Snake Charmer. Let's talk about what's really important.
Why don't they make Richie Rich comic books anymore?
Oh, the way he would go around buying all kinds of fantastic things, encrusted with jewels! And how he would invite his poor trailer trash friends, Freckles and Pee Wee, over to play with all of Professor Keenbean's inventions!
PeeWee never spoke, but if he did, I'm sure he would say, "Oh, Please, Richie Rich, can your stiff-lipped English Butler, Cadbury, bring us some tea and crumpets whilst we lounge in front of your 50-foot wide Television Device and see Our Mom beat up our Dad on the Jerry Springer show?"
Richie was also a very diplomatic Lover, too. He never said a thing to his girlfriend Gloria about her obscenely large head, big New Jersey hair, and thick ankles.
Richie was very kind and grateful to his parents. He was thankful they didn't abort him, like they had to do with his older brother, Casper.
Apparently Regina Rich's sister also had an abortion. it must have been a common thing in that family, for Hot Stuff The Little Devil was clearly the tormented soul of Reggie VanDough's older sibling. You will remember Reggie as Richie Rich's mean, jealous cousin.
I'm sure that if the Harvey Kids were still published today, Little Dot would be in therapy and drugged up to cure her obsession with polka dots, and Little Lotta would be on Atkins.
The real tragedy is that without a regularlt published comic, the multi-national staff of the various Rich Households has been forced into unemployment. Au Revoir, Chef Pierre!
I'm sure that if Richie Rich Comics were still published today, The World's leaders would still love the U.S., and John Kerry wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
But the hell with that Catholic Snake Charmer. Let's talk about what's really important.
Why don't they make Richie Rich comic books anymore?
Oh, the way he would go around buying all kinds of fantastic things, encrusted with jewels! And how he would invite his poor trailer trash friends, Freckles and Pee Wee, over to play with all of Professor Keenbean's inventions!
PeeWee never spoke, but if he did, I'm sure he would say, "Oh, Please, Richie Rich, can your stiff-lipped English Butler, Cadbury, bring us some tea and crumpets whilst we lounge in front of your 50-foot wide Television Device and see Our Mom beat up our Dad on the Jerry Springer show?"
Richie was also a very diplomatic Lover, too. He never said a thing to his girlfriend Gloria about her obscenely large head, big New Jersey hair, and thick ankles.
Richie was very kind and grateful to his parents. He was thankful they didn't abort him, like they had to do with his older brother, Casper.
Apparently Regina Rich's sister also had an abortion. it must have been a common thing in that family, for Hot Stuff The Little Devil was clearly the tormented soul of Reggie VanDough's older sibling. You will remember Reggie as Richie Rich's mean, jealous cousin.
I'm sure that if the Harvey Kids were still published today, Little Dot would be in therapy and drugged up to cure her obsession with polka dots, and Little Lotta would be on Atkins.
The real tragedy is that without a regularlt published comic, the multi-national staff of the various Rich Households has been forced into unemployment. Au Revoir, Chef Pierre!
I'm sure that if Richie Rich Comics were still published today, The World's leaders would still love the U.S., and John Kerry wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
Friday, March 12, 2004
I am saddened by the deaths in Madrid.
I hope, for the sake of any innocent Basque people, and for the sake of The cartoonists at NAPARTHEID, some of whom I've met at the ICAF and SPX shows, that the Basque Separatist terrorists of ETA are not found to be involved.
That being said, this cartoon, which is the gateway into NAPARTHEID's website, www.napartheid.org, has rather sinister implications today to somebody who cannot read the Basque language. Scroll over the chained figures, and they seem to be laughing.
I have sometimes wondered if there were any ties between NAPARTHEID and any radical separatist activities. I can't read most of what is printed in the few zines of theirs I've received, but their mascot seems to have a predilection for throwing cartoon bombs.
For all I know, they could be strong supporters, and perhaps sponsors of terrorist activities, or they could simply be politically active, and no more threatening physically than American punk kids who publish "Fight The Man" type zines.
But an outsider, unfamiliar with their language, and having to judge by the visuals in light of yesterday's tragedy, could be led to draw the wrong conclusion, couldn't he?
I hope, for the sake of any innocent Basque people, and for the sake of The cartoonists at NAPARTHEID, some of whom I've met at the ICAF and SPX shows, that the Basque Separatist terrorists of ETA are not found to be involved.
That being said, this cartoon, which is the gateway into NAPARTHEID's website, www.napartheid.org, has rather sinister implications today to somebody who cannot read the Basque language. Scroll over the chained figures, and they seem to be laughing.
I have sometimes wondered if there were any ties between NAPARTHEID and any radical separatist activities. I can't read most of what is printed in the few zines of theirs I've received, but their mascot seems to have a predilection for throwing cartoon bombs.
For all I know, they could be strong supporters, and perhaps sponsors of terrorist activities, or they could simply be politically active, and no more threatening physically than American punk kids who publish "Fight The Man" type zines.
But an outsider, unfamiliar with their language, and having to judge by the visuals in light of yesterday's tragedy, could be led to draw the wrong conclusion, couldn't he?
Thursday, March 11, 2004
I was checking on my statistics for the different pages within my site, and I had a spike of 72 unique visitors last wednesday, with 45 on Thursday to my "Evil Dr. Palindrome" cartoon page.
i wonder if it got mentioned on some blog.
usually, if I check on the "referrers" tab, it will show a strong percentage of people coming in from a site that wasn't on the list before. But the list shows no spikes referring sites other than the usual, and i didn't promote the cartoon i posted last week.
Sure, the palindrome last week was about Jesus, and i'm not surprised that it got more attention than usual. But I wish i knew where the hits were coming from. If some radical Christian group has put a price on my head, I'm sure my "referrers" page would show their site. And i would be getting a few Hate e-mails, like I do whenever I publish or promote my chick parodies.
The weird thing, is My "Miscellaneous Gag" last week was also about Jesus, and it only got 3 hits. I guess I need to do better promotions about the "Miscellaneous gag of the week"
(No, I didn't post a Jesus "f-ARTjoke" last week. Even i will draw the line somewhere.)
I'm puzzled.
i wonder if it got mentioned on some blog.
usually, if I check on the "referrers" tab, it will show a strong percentage of people coming in from a site that wasn't on the list before. But the list shows no spikes referring sites other than the usual, and i didn't promote the cartoon i posted last week.
Sure, the palindrome last week was about Jesus, and i'm not surprised that it got more attention than usual. But I wish i knew where the hits were coming from. If some radical Christian group has put a price on my head, I'm sure my "referrers" page would show their site. And i would be getting a few Hate e-mails, like I do whenever I publish or promote my chick parodies.
The weird thing, is My "Miscellaneous Gag" last week was also about Jesus, and it only got 3 hits. I guess I need to do better promotions about the "Miscellaneous gag of the week"
(No, I didn't post a Jesus "f-ARTjoke" last week. Even i will draw the line somewhere.)
I'm puzzled.
Wednesday, March 10, 2004
I've been away for awhile because I've been putting together a new comic.
PEEPS et BEANS is a sweet satire, suitable for all but the youngest of readers, and just in Time for Easter.
I put up a feature on my website that details the production of this new comic. Check it out.
I saw Hidalgo today. Great Film. Timely too, in how it looks at Arab Culture, and highlights some elements of that culture that had been around for centuries, and are still present over 100 years later, today. Plus I couldn't help noting that I was sitting in a theater watching an American race across Iraq on horseback about a year to the day after I was watching Americans on TV race across Iraq in Armored vehicles.
The theater next door to mine was showing The Passion of The Christ, and the theater lobby had several tables with various pieces of Christian Literature available. As I left my theater, some clergy members were also present, inviting discussion of Mel Gibson's film. I found myself wishing I had a couple of my Chick Tract parodies handy, to slip them onto the literature tables.
The movie I'd just seen had strong elements of both ISLAM and Native American Spiritualism. As i walked past those tables of literature, I wondered why so many people can accept the story of Christ, and other tales from the Bible as truth unquestioned, and in the same breath treat Islamic or native American, or Buddhist, Hindu, or whatever other beliefs as pure myth and falsehood.
Anyway, on the way out, i passed a group of folks waiting in line, and I pointed to the Hidalgo poster, and said to them, "That was a very good film. Part Indiana Jones, part Dances With Wolves, part Gunga Din, and all good. If you're here to see a great movie, go see Hidalgo, folks."
They looked at me with a look that said, "Get Thee Behind me, Foul Tempter!"
That was when I realized that I had my button on my jacket that says, in bold red letters, "DEVIL".
True Story, Swear to God.
PEEPS et BEANS is a sweet satire, suitable for all but the youngest of readers, and just in Time for Easter.
I put up a feature on my website that details the production of this new comic. Check it out.
I saw Hidalgo today. Great Film. Timely too, in how it looks at Arab Culture, and highlights some elements of that culture that had been around for centuries, and are still present over 100 years later, today. Plus I couldn't help noting that I was sitting in a theater watching an American race across Iraq on horseback about a year to the day after I was watching Americans on TV race across Iraq in Armored vehicles.
The theater next door to mine was showing The Passion of The Christ, and the theater lobby had several tables with various pieces of Christian Literature available. As I left my theater, some clergy members were also present, inviting discussion of Mel Gibson's film. I found myself wishing I had a couple of my Chick Tract parodies handy, to slip them onto the literature tables.
The movie I'd just seen had strong elements of both ISLAM and Native American Spiritualism. As i walked past those tables of literature, I wondered why so many people can accept the story of Christ, and other tales from the Bible as truth unquestioned, and in the same breath treat Islamic or native American, or Buddhist, Hindu, or whatever other beliefs as pure myth and falsehood.
Anyway, on the way out, i passed a group of folks waiting in line, and I pointed to the Hidalgo poster, and said to them, "That was a very good film. Part Indiana Jones, part Dances With Wolves, part Gunga Din, and all good. If you're here to see a great movie, go see Hidalgo, folks."
They looked at me with a look that said, "Get Thee Behind me, Foul Tempter!"
That was when I realized that I had my button on my jacket that says, in bold red letters, "DEVIL".
True Story, Swear to God.
Monday, March 01, 2004
It's March 1st, Ladies, Where The Hell are You?
Yes, another Leap Day has come and gone. Why am I still single? This makes ten leap days I've survived; It's six since I was of dating age. Where are all these love-crazy girls that should be beating down doors on every February 29th? The ones trying so desparately to find a Single Guy who's not gay, and propose to him on their one chance in every four years?
What? Am I some kind of Troll? I'm Tall, Broad Shouldered, and Kind of Handsome with my distinguished Gray. Apparently hookers and strippers like me, why don't love-crazy girls notice me?
Okay, i understand that with the Oscars last night, the kind of girl who'd probably go for me was holed up in front of the TV clutching her Broadsword and counting all the Thank Yous to the people in New Zealand. So I'm willing to extend a Grace period of a couple days, women.
Don't you want a guy who'd be happy to stay at home and cook for you while you pursue your career?
All i ask is room for my Art studio, and a Cable Modem connection.
So you have until tomorrow night. After that, I'm back to only looking for a Hump-buddy until Feb 29, 2008, do you Understand? So call now. But don't call between 8 and 10 PM, unless you can make it during a commercial. ( and if you can "make it" during a commercial, you must be easy to please. just my type!)
Yes, another Leap Day has come and gone. Why am I still single? This makes ten leap days I've survived; It's six since I was of dating age. Where are all these love-crazy girls that should be beating down doors on every February 29th? The ones trying so desparately to find a Single Guy who's not gay, and propose to him on their one chance in every four years?
What? Am I some kind of Troll? I'm Tall, Broad Shouldered, and Kind of Handsome with my distinguished Gray. Apparently hookers and strippers like me, why don't love-crazy girls notice me?
Okay, i understand that with the Oscars last night, the kind of girl who'd probably go for me was holed up in front of the TV clutching her Broadsword and counting all the Thank Yous to the people in New Zealand. So I'm willing to extend a Grace period of a couple days, women.
Don't you want a guy who'd be happy to stay at home and cook for you while you pursue your career?
All i ask is room for my Art studio, and a Cable Modem connection.
So you have until tomorrow night. After that, I'm back to only looking for a Hump-buddy until Feb 29, 2008, do you Understand? So call now. But don't call between 8 and 10 PM, unless you can make it during a commercial. ( and if you can "make it" during a commercial, you must be easy to please. just my type!)
Thursday, February 26, 2004
Aw Cool! I see that one of my favorite party bands, Southern Culture On The Skids has a new label, and a new album out; MOJO BOX.
I've listened to samples of about half the songs. Sounds like fun. These guys (and girl) put on one helluva live show. I gotta get a job now so I can afford to both pick up the new record, and go to see them when they come to my area again to promote it.
But in case any of my legion of fan is feeling generous, I've added the disc to my Amazon wish list, too.
I'll send original art as a thank you to anybody who sends me something off that list. The link is over there on the right margin of this blog.
You don't need to wait for my Birthday (which is July 10th, by the way).
I've listened to samples of about half the songs. Sounds like fun. These guys (and girl) put on one helluva live show. I gotta get a job now so I can afford to both pick up the new record, and go to see them when they come to my area again to promote it.
But in case any of my legion of fan is feeling generous, I've added the disc to my Amazon wish list, too.
I'll send original art as a thank you to anybody who sends me something off that list. The link is over there on the right margin of this blog.
You don't need to wait for my Birthday (which is July 10th, by the way).
I am going insane in this basement.
I just caught myself doing a bit of The Jerk to The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. I have to get out and see the sun or something today. I heard we're in for a warm spell for a couple days. good. I'm starting to appreciate Gene Pitney. I don't know if that's good, or what.
I found a two-record "Best of Gene Pitney" LP in decent shape at the Salvation Army Thrift store the other day. I may not be into their whole religious message, but I do appreciate the Salvation Army, at least locally, for being a good source for cheap used vinyl.
I also got an Esquivel album, a "best of Alan Parsons", a recording of JFK speeches, an album of Hawaiian Tourist trap music, and one of those albums from the 60s or 70s that Women's Auxiliary groups would do as fundraisers, where they'd form a chorus and record an album of their vocal stylings, talent not withstanding. Nowadays it's not the same. Now they just have bake sales, or pose tastefully nude for calendars. One way, Brownies and Pie are involved.
This time it's Warble 'N Whistle By The Larks. This is a group of Ladies from Baltimore's Junior League. They recorded this particular gem "for and with the children" back in 1979.
Apparently from the names listed in the credits, the "children" are all the sons and daughters of the Larks themselves. That's rather Omenous. I'm gonna put it on now. I hope i don't melt my ears.
Hmm... They actually hired professional studio musicians, and a real vocal coach, and a real arranger, and a real producer. The Junior League spent some bucks here. After a cheesy rendition of Boom Boom Ain't it Great To Be Crazy (I hope one of the charities they support isn't a Mental Health
Organization) they move into a really good version of Git On Board with a superb Hi-Hat re-creation of a train's pistons by drummer Steve Rosenheim.
But I'm anxious to hear the last track on this side...Hokey Pokey Disco. Whoop! here it is..... Aaaaah.... When they put their hip in, they really put their HIP in, ya dig? This is going on my next mixtape. That's what That's all about!
Gee. How can Side Two top that? Well it kicks off with Everybody Loves Saturday Night. (Yeah, sure, back in 1979 everybody still loved that show.) Boy, though, I really get the "fever" for "Saturday Night" when they sing it in all the different languages and world musical styles. Still, I'm a little hurt that they didn't mention John Belushi.
I wasn't going to mention the next track Something for You, because i wanted to save my wit for the third track, A Cow's Good Company. But how can I not comment on a line like "I wanted to something for you, Mom....but I can't 'cause I'm watching TV...." Brilliant! And the kid gets a hug at the end of the song, and not a slap. Yeah. The Larks are definitely all White. The Cow song just doesn't compare. Neither does the rest of the album. It's all downhill from side two, track three.
But, GodDamn! That was Five bucks well spent at the Salvation Army.
I just caught myself doing a bit of The Jerk to The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. I have to get out and see the sun or something today. I heard we're in for a warm spell for a couple days. good. I'm starting to appreciate Gene Pitney. I don't know if that's good, or what.
I found a two-record "Best of Gene Pitney" LP in decent shape at the Salvation Army Thrift store the other day. I may not be into their whole religious message, but I do appreciate the Salvation Army, at least locally, for being a good source for cheap used vinyl.
I also got an Esquivel album, a "best of Alan Parsons", a recording of JFK speeches, an album of Hawaiian Tourist trap music, and one of those albums from the 60s or 70s that Women's Auxiliary groups would do as fundraisers, where they'd form a chorus and record an album of their vocal stylings, talent not withstanding. Nowadays it's not the same. Now they just have bake sales, or pose tastefully nude for calendars. One way, Brownies and Pie are involved.
This time it's Warble 'N Whistle By The Larks. This is a group of Ladies from Baltimore's Junior League. They recorded this particular gem "for and with the children" back in 1979.
Apparently from the names listed in the credits, the "children" are all the sons and daughters of the Larks themselves. That's rather Omenous. I'm gonna put it on now. I hope i don't melt my ears.
Hmm... They actually hired professional studio musicians, and a real vocal coach, and a real arranger, and a real producer. The Junior League spent some bucks here. After a cheesy rendition of Boom Boom Ain't it Great To Be Crazy (I hope one of the charities they support isn't a Mental Health
Organization) they move into a really good version of Git On Board with a superb Hi-Hat re-creation of a train's pistons by drummer Steve Rosenheim.
But I'm anxious to hear the last track on this side...Hokey Pokey Disco. Whoop! here it is..... Aaaaah.... When they put their hip in, they really put their HIP in, ya dig? This is going on my next mixtape. That's what That's all about!
Gee. How can Side Two top that? Well it kicks off with Everybody Loves Saturday Night. (Yeah, sure, back in 1979 everybody still loved that show.) Boy, though, I really get the "fever" for "Saturday Night" when they sing it in all the different languages and world musical styles. Still, I'm a little hurt that they didn't mention John Belushi.
I wasn't going to mention the next track Something for You, because i wanted to save my wit for the third track, A Cow's Good Company. But how can I not comment on a line like "I wanted to something for you, Mom....but I can't 'cause I'm watching TV...." Brilliant! And the kid gets a hug at the end of the song, and not a slap. Yeah. The Larks are definitely all White. The Cow song just doesn't compare. Neither does the rest of the album. It's all downhill from side two, track three.
But, GodDamn! That was Five bucks well spent at the Salvation Army.
Wednesday, February 25, 2004
2004: The Year when Ben Stiller has to shoot a horse in every picture he does.
I think it's the new law. Yesterday i saw Eurotrip, which was great. We laughed our Asses off. I hope that this and several other upcoming "R" releases are a sign that Hollywood has realized that most of the children of the Baby Boomers are now over 17. I have a feeling that this film would have been cut back to a PG-13 if it were released last year. I'm glad it was a 2004 release. Funnier than Road Trip, Funnier than American Wedding, Funnier than Old School. Please, Hollywood, continue, give me a long wave of Comedies that aren't afraid of the "R".
But anyway, before the film, we saw trailers for two upcoming Ben Stiller movies. Starsky and Hutch, and Envy. The latter film, with Jack Black also starring, looks like fun, but I have a feeling that I saw all the funny bits of Starsky and Hutch in the trailer. But what struck me as strange is that Ben Stiller kills a horse in both movies, and both trailers show the scene where Stiller kills the horse.
Does Ben Stiller have a thing about killing horses? Did he spend his last hiatus at a Hollywood "Horse-Killing" camp, and now they have to write this into a few of his movies to justify the trip as a business expense? Is he doing it to impress his wife, Christine Taylor? Does she have some dark secret in her past involving a horse? When their kids have birthday parties and the pony arrives, will the kids run screaming because they think Daddy's going to kill it? Will the kids pin the tail on a real, live donkey?
I wonder if the PETA people have started harrassing Stiller yet.
I think it's the new law. Yesterday i saw Eurotrip, which was great. We laughed our Asses off. I hope that this and several other upcoming "R" releases are a sign that Hollywood has realized that most of the children of the Baby Boomers are now over 17. I have a feeling that this film would have been cut back to a PG-13 if it were released last year. I'm glad it was a 2004 release. Funnier than Road Trip, Funnier than American Wedding, Funnier than Old School. Please, Hollywood, continue, give me a long wave of Comedies that aren't afraid of the "R".
But anyway, before the film, we saw trailers for two upcoming Ben Stiller movies. Starsky and Hutch, and Envy. The latter film, with Jack Black also starring, looks like fun, but I have a feeling that I saw all the funny bits of Starsky and Hutch in the trailer. But what struck me as strange is that Ben Stiller kills a horse in both movies, and both trailers show the scene where Stiller kills the horse.
Does Ben Stiller have a thing about killing horses? Did he spend his last hiatus at a Hollywood "Horse-Killing" camp, and now they have to write this into a few of his movies to justify the trip as a business expense? Is he doing it to impress his wife, Christine Taylor? Does she have some dark secret in her past involving a horse? When their kids have birthday parties and the pony arrives, will the kids run screaming because they think Daddy's going to kill it? Will the kids pin the tail on a real, live donkey?
I wonder if the PETA people have started harrassing Stiller yet.
Friday, February 20, 2004
Feeling Generous?
Send me something from my Amazon.com wish list!
Surprise me! Do it anonymously, or take credit for your generosity!
If you'd like perhaps I could send you a piece of my artwork in gratitude.
Then it's not so much like begging.
Send me something from my Amazon.com wish list!
Surprise me! Do it anonymously, or take credit for your generosity!
If you'd like perhaps I could send you a piece of my artwork in gratitude.
Then it's not so much like begging.
Sting of the Hornet!
So Kevin Smith is working on a Green Hornet Movie. The Internet is all abuzz with the news!
As somebody old enough to have watched Bruce Lee as Kato in the series original television run, I thought I'd share a little anecdote from my childhood... (this was previously posted over at slushfactory.com)
When I was little, we had one of those Aurora Model-motoring HO-scale slot car tracks (later became AFX), which only got set up around Christmas-time. Each year, "Santa" would put a new car in our stockings, and that would be the first thing us kids would open up. (we were allowed to open our stockings as soon as we woke up, but we had to wait for the whole family to wake up or arrive before we did any other gifts.)
In the weeks before Christmas, Mom and Dad would take us to Race-o-Rama hobby center, where they always had a window display with the new cars for the year running around a track.
I remember 1968, when they had Green Hornet's car, The Black Beauty, running around in the window. Dad asked me which one I liked. I pointed at The Black Beauty, "That One!"
"The Black One?" asked Dad, "Okay. Make sure you tell Santa."
On Christmas morning, i was disappointed. Apparently "The Black One" that Dad saw was a Batmobile.
I felt better in 1990, though, when i was able to sell that HO-Scale Batmobile for over $100 in a Comics Buyer's Guide ad.
So Kevin Smith is working on a Green Hornet Movie. The Internet is all abuzz with the news!
As somebody old enough to have watched Bruce Lee as Kato in the series original television run, I thought I'd share a little anecdote from my childhood... (this was previously posted over at slushfactory.com)
When I was little, we had one of those Aurora Model-motoring HO-scale slot car tracks (later became AFX), which only got set up around Christmas-time. Each year, "Santa" would put a new car in our stockings, and that would be the first thing us kids would open up. (we were allowed to open our stockings as soon as we woke up, but we had to wait for the whole family to wake up or arrive before we did any other gifts.)
In the weeks before Christmas, Mom and Dad would take us to Race-o-Rama hobby center, where they always had a window display with the new cars for the year running around a track.
I remember 1968, when they had Green Hornet's car, The Black Beauty, running around in the window. Dad asked me which one I liked. I pointed at The Black Beauty, "That One!"
"The Black One?" asked Dad, "Okay. Make sure you tell Santa."
On Christmas morning, i was disappointed. Apparently "The Black One" that Dad saw was a Batmobile.
I felt better in 1990, though, when i was able to sell that HO-Scale Batmobile for over $100 in a Comics Buyer's Guide ad.
Thursday, February 19, 2004
Why? Really. Why?
I was strolling thru the supermarket aisle today, and I came across what is surely a sign of the coming apocalypse.
Or, if not the apocalypse, at least the next futile salvo in the Cola Wars.
Caffeine-Free Mt. Dew, and Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper.
WHY? In what twisted California Shopping Mall are the marketing subjects so in-bred that they colored in the circle on their card next to "Hey, I'd buy this!".
Next to JOLT! Cola, these are the two Brands most recognized, and desired, for their Caffeine Content!
What? Did they talk to some Soccer-Mom waiting on the bench at the BMX track?
"Oh, My Boy Zachary can really kick out some Wild 360s, and he just learned how to pull off a Flying Wallie with a double Half-Doogie. But he tends to be jittery, and can't hold still enough to maintain a nose-stand. I wish I could put him on another kind of pill or something."
Mom, I got news for you. Get your boy laid, or give him some Pot. He'll calm down for you. Really. He won't get all paranoid like you and Dad used to if he knows the Pot comes from you. But whatever you do, don't try to Re-Do his Dew!
On another note, I'm really digging the White-Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm glad that they're going to be a regular item now.
I was strolling thru the supermarket aisle today, and I came across what is surely a sign of the coming apocalypse.
Or, if not the apocalypse, at least the next futile salvo in the Cola Wars.
Caffeine-Free Mt. Dew, and Caffeine-Free Dr. Pepper.
WHY? In what twisted California Shopping Mall are the marketing subjects so in-bred that they colored in the circle on their card next to "Hey, I'd buy this!".
Next to JOLT! Cola, these are the two Brands most recognized, and desired, for their Caffeine Content!
What? Did they talk to some Soccer-Mom waiting on the bench at the BMX track?
"Oh, My Boy Zachary can really kick out some Wild 360s, and he just learned how to pull off a Flying Wallie with a double Half-Doogie. But he tends to be jittery, and can't hold still enough to maintain a nose-stand. I wish I could put him on another kind of pill or something."
Mom, I got news for you. Get your boy laid, or give him some Pot. He'll calm down for you. Really. He won't get all paranoid like you and Dad used to if he knows the Pot comes from you. But whatever you do, don't try to Re-Do his Dew!
On another note, I'm really digging the White-Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm glad that they're going to be a regular item now.
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