Thursday, November 27, 2003

Oh, by the way, i apologize for not blogging or updating my cartoons for awhile.

I have an eye condition the doc calls UV-itis or something like that. all i know is about 14 years ago i had pinkeye in my left eye, and ever since then that eye gets tired before the right, and if I strain it too long, it gets inflamed. If I drive too long at night, or play playstation for too long a stretch, it'll get sore for a day or so. It really flares up maybe once every six years, and when it does that, it takes over a week to get back to normal, and only with lots of expensive prescription eyedrops.

I guess all that "research" into the Paris Hilton videotape was too much, on top of all the ebaying I've been doing. Hey, I've made close to $500 this month on Ebay, but for over a week now I've been walking around looking like Quasimodo with a concussion. One eye all bulging and pink, and dilated from the drops.

So for the last ten days or so, My eye would get too sore to spend much time on the computer, and the light reflecting off white paper on my drawing board hurt, too.
So I really haven't been able to draw for all that time. well today, the medicine seems to be clearing it up, so i should be getting back to schedule this weekend.
Right now, it's getting a little tired, though, so I'm going to shut down.
well, the pecan and pumpkin pies are baked.
I won't take credit or blame for them. I was supposed to be making them. Mom was just going to prep her crusts, and I'd do the fillings and baking. Then this evening I smelled stuff baking upstairs, and went to the kitchen to find Mom cooling two pecan pies, and getting ready to put the pumpkin in the oven.

She just can't stand somebody doing the work for her. And I was going to make cool little individual pecan tarts, and my extra special pumpkin pie. she just whipped up the recipe on the pumpkin can, and i have to be honest, it tastes storebought.

...anyway... i just finished cooking down the giblets to make stock for the stuffing and gravy. The Turkey is thawed, cleaned and prepped in its pan. This is the first year since I moved back to York that I'm doing the cooking, since My sister decided She's eating with her Boyfriend's family this year. It's just gonna be me and five senior citizens at our place.

I had to run out tonight to Wal-mart and get a meat thermometer. I can't believe my mom cooked for us for all those years and didn't have a meat Thermometer. Maybe all those bouts of diarhea growing up were really food poisoning.

All i need to do tomorrow is finish mixing the stuffing, stuff, oil, and lube the bird, and pop it in the oven before 9AM tomorrow.

then when the bird has about an hour to go, i mix up the baked corn, adjust the oven temp, and slide the pan in on the rack above the bird. I'll pop some Pilllsbury biscuits in the oven while i carve the turkey. I hope to be eating by 2:30ish.

My one aunt is bringing the orange-cranberry relish and the green-bean casserole. My other aunt is bringing the homemade pickles, and my Mom's friend Alma, who has no family, will probably bring enough sweet potatoes to feed sixty people, no matter how many times we tell her it's just the six of us.

My stuffing? cornbread base, with liver, sausage, onions, carrots, sage, roasted garlic, and diced dried plums.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Junior Pornographer's Roll Call
Okay, because that thread about the Paris Hilton sextape over at SlushFactory has been generating over 100 hits an hour for the last few days, and because people clicking on the link in my signature when i made some sarcastic comments there has brought over 100 new people to my own site each day this weekend, and actually flooded my bandwidth last night... (lotta lonely guys looking for free porn action on a Saturday Night. Go Figure.)

So, "Because", I hustled over to my drawing board and knocked out my own comic interpretation of the awful tape. Hopefully it'll be hosted on slush as soon as BJacks nods approval, but until then, here it is at my beleaguered site.

One fine evening in a Hilton, In Paris

I'm a whore, too, I guess. Please visit my store and order a mini-comic while you are there.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

A Cool Small Press Title to Check Out
I realize that most of the folks that probably read my blog are fellow small-press comics folk, and i might be preaching to the choir here, but just as I would appreciate anything that wouold help me expand my audience, I'll post this oin the odd chance that there are new readers out there in blogland.

I met Justin Madson at a couple small press shows, and really enjoyed his comic Happy Town. It's a moody, beautiful tale, and Justin has a sweet style that reminds me of a blend of James Kochalka and Linda Medley. He has a new issue out now, #8, and a really neat box set of the first seven issues. You can order all of his stuff easily thru PayPal at his website. Give it a look. Just Mad Books: The home of Happy Town Comics by Justin Madson

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Recent Distractions
Here's what has been keeping me from drawing alot recently. If you need to limit your own productivity, and just distract yourself for some time, i recommend all of these.

DISCWORLD Novels by Terry Pratchett. I spent a good part of the weekend reading his latest, Monstrous Regiment. Great story. Introduces a new region of the disc, and a slew of new wacky characters. Wm DeWord, from Pratchett's earlier release, The Truth, makes a return appearance, and Commander Vimes and Sgt Angua of the Ankh-Moorpork Watch have small roles.

Mystic River. Saw this film this afternoon. Loved it. I see a lot of Oscar nods, particularly for Sean Penn, Laura Linney, and Clint Eastwood, for both score and direction. Maybe even Tim Robbins.

Thrift Store Record Shopping. Today I found a couple spoken word/advice records by Dr. Murray Banks. Funny stuff. Also records by Carl Reiner and mel Brooks, George Burns and Gracie Allen, a National Lampoon Radio Hour collection with Belushi and co., and a few other good finds.

New TV shows This year I'm watching more TV than the last couple seasons. I'm enjoying Arrested Development, Karen Sisco, Two-and-a-Half Men, Stan Hooper, and NOVA the most.

That, and I've been selling a buncha stuff on Ebay, and posting way too much to the message boards. I really need to turn off this computer and draw something.

Monday, November 10, 2003

okay, before i go, I'll give you another TOP TEN, because deep down, you're all comics geeks, and i know you drool over this stuff:

Top 10 Alternate Realities The Watcher Never Showed Us:
10) What If... Galactus was a Vegetarian?
9) What If... The GREEN Goblin, The SCARLET Witch, ThePURPLE Man, RED Raven, YELLOW Jacket, BLUE Beetle, CRIMSON Dynamo, and others didn't use a Color-Safe bleach?
8) What If ... Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers had been bitten by the Radioactive Spider?
7) What If... Dr. Strange did Birthday Parties?
6) What If... Kids could afford Comics again?
5) What If... Jefferson was America's 1st President? ...GEORGE Jefferson.
4) What If... Medusa had a Bad Hair Day?
3) What If... Team America drove for Domino's?
2) What If... Watchers weren't so Nosy?
1) What If... Nick Fury didn't have that Eyepatch, and could look at Steranko Backgrounds with Depth Perception?
Monday. The Silicon Chip inside my head gets switched to Overload.

Well, I'm hanging around, listening to the swinging sounds of WEIRDSVILLE's Exotica channel today. They've become one of my favorites recently, so much that my CDs are getting dusty. They also have a cool channel called "SWANK" and a few other types of webcast. You can check 'em out by going here:
Weirdsville! Web Radio: The Out Sound from Way In

I've some time to myself this evening because I managed to get out of Dinner at the local American Legion hall with Mom & Dad and my Aunt Helen. It used to be a big thing on Monday Night. That's when they have a slate of $3.95 specials, and we'd have eight to twelve people show up for a nice family get-together, but My one Aunt Died, a cousin moved away, My Brother and His family don't like the smoke in the place, My sister often works too late, and the one couple of my Dad's friends that came got sick of the bad food, while another of the couples has a member going senile, and his behavior has become unpredictable.

It 'd winnowed down to just me, My Folks, and Aunt Helen. And they've taken to eating on "Old People Time". In order to get a good close handicapped spot, my Mom insists on getting there before 4:30 PM. In order to have an appetite that early, I usually have to skip breakfast and lunch, which means I can get really cranky if there's something not right with my food. Even if the food is somehow edible, They'll mess it up by bringing out my main course before my soup has cooled, or before I get halfway through my salad. I get tired of telling the wait staff that perhaps they could consider WAITING just a little more. BUt no matter the service or the quality of the food, i can always count on Aunt Helen's chain-smoking to ruin my meal at some point. She usually lights up as soon as we sit down, and only takes a break while she's eating. the problem is that she usually eats less than half her meal, and gets a take home box for the rest. As soon as she's done eating, she'll light up and start chain-smoking again, regardless of whom at the table is still in the midst of a meal. The woman is 83, and sure, she's earned the right to chain smoke if she wants to, but i wish she'd learn manners and at least wait until I've cut my meat.

Well last week was the third in a row that I had to send my meal back for something or other. (Ziti overcooked to the point of Mush, hardly any pork in the Pork& Sauerkraut, steak undercooked, greasy and bloody, etc,) I decided I'm sick of it.
I told MOm & Dad that I'd gladly help them find another diner to go to, but I won't be joining them at the Legion anymore.

It's a shame I have to complain about this today, with tomorrow being Veteran's Day and all. Well, i salute all the guys and gals risking their necks for me overseas right now. And i thank the media for constantly keeping us up to date as one or two more soldiers are killed in Iraq, even though ten times that amount of Americans will die from slipping in the bathtub alone today. Some of them will even slip on bars of soap made by Foreigners, but we won't hear about this tragic killing of Americans on tonight's network news.

I'm gonna go now, get cleaned up and then in an hour or so go and eat with people closer to my demographic, and then come home and watch my auctions on ebay close, and get rich.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Ugh! I apologize to those of you who are wondering where my new cartoons are this week. I have been racking my brain to come up with a good palindrome about Noah and his son Ham, to continue Dr. Palindrome's look at Genesis. Right now I have two dictionaries and a Thesaurus open in front of me, as well as a Bible guide, a guide to names in Mythology, an on-line thesaurus, and an on-line dictionary.

I feel like I'm back in College on the night before a paper is due.

You might be familiar with the story where Noah got drunk, and fell asleep naked, and Ham saw him in this embarrassing state. When Noah Awakes, he puts a curse on the children of Ham, that Canaan and his descendants will be slaves to the descendants of Shem (aka the Semites).This is too good a part of the story of Noah not to try and include.

You'd think that "Canaan" would lend itself easily to a palindrome, But I have to put it near the center of the phrase ie: "....Canaan A C~..."
I also tried to build around the core "...SAW DAD WAS..." but no synonym i can find for "naked" fits around that. Unless there is some obscure language where "Mah" means "drunk and naked" , but if it was that easy, I'm sure somebody else would have already made up "Ham Saw Dad Was Mah." I even considered drawing Shem tattling to Joan (You know...Noah's Wife?) "Ma! He Dun Saw Dad Was Nude! Ham!" and make Shem into a Hillbilly. I may use that yet.

I could fall back and use "Mt Ararat M~" as my core and do a different aspect of Noah, but that would be taking the easy road. Besides, I'll need one for next week soon enough.

Does Jon Agee ever have days like this?

I don't even want to think about doing a f-ARTjoke right now.

As i read back over this entry, that Shem as a Hillbilly gag is starting to seem funny.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Every now and then I like to listen to some cheese. The best cheese on the internet can be heard at Luxuria. :: Internet Radio: Latin Jazz, Groovy 60's Go-Go Soundtracks, Bollywood

They play all the stuff that I love to find when I go album hunting at the local thrift stores. The stuff that kids in my generation would find in the record racks of our swinging bachelor uncles.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Well, I finished up at the mill last night. I had a good time growling at folks for a little over a month. It was cathartic. On the one hand, I'm glad that it's over, but on the other hand, I kinda wish that I could do something like that year-round, and really get paid for it. Not that i didn't get any compensation.
Technically, the workers at the Haunted Mill are classified as "volunteers" since the large portion of the proceeds goes to charity. However, we did get a stipend the size of which depended on our attendance record, and how much we scared our victims. I must have been rather scary, as I got double what the average worker received. If you count the time I actually put into it, what I got amounts to less than 3 bucks an hour, but It's enough to keep my bills paid until the end of the month while I hit the bricks for another job.
I didn't really do it for the money, anyway. I went out there to help my mom's Friend Judy, and because it was something I could get off on. If it did really pay, I'd do it for the money, though.

I'm still waiting to hear on the Meteorology Positions with NOAA I put in for in September. The last time i checked, i was still in the running, but they hadn't made a selection. So in the meantime, I'm looking for anything local that i can make around $300 or more a week at. I put out a few retail applications this past week, and sent some resumes off for retail manager slots. Maybe I can pick up a Christmas season job until I hear from NOAA. Luckily, I was paying down most of my bills Until Papa John's canned me, and I only have about $400 a month in bills. Of course, I have the stigma of Living with Mom and Dad, and knowing that my penis atrophies daily from disuse.

But deadlines are looming this month to register tables for the 2004 comic convention season. SPACE may be the only show I get a table at this year. APE is always a money-loser for me, what with the travel expense to fly to California, so that is probably out, and MOCCA and SPX will probably sell out of tables before i can raise the fees this year. I'll still attend those even if i don't have a table though, if just to drool over the big thick art books I can't afford, and which my colleagues won't trade me for. (Although maybe if I drool on a copy, i can get a discount?)

Well, I have to go now, and decide which of my body parts I can sell on Ebay this week for spending money. How much does a partially atrophied penis fetch nowadays?

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Okay. It's Saturday, and I thought I'd do a quick update before Penn State gets their asses handed to them by Ohio State.

Halloween is past, and today the candy is on sale. Christmas decorations are going up already in the stores. It's like the Halloween Spooks have really Taken over Christmas a la Tim Burton. I still have two more nights at the Haunted Mill, but we're in the denouement now. I scared over 1000 people last night. ...and then i put my mask on. HA! I kill me.
I was a little concerned about the safety of my house last night, as this would be the first Trick-or-Treat night in years when nobody would be home. But we escaped un-egged, with no vandalism. In the last five years or so, there have only been maybe four or five houses on my block that do anything for the trick-or-treaters, so I guess by being dark last night, we were just one more party-pooper on the block.

When i was a kid, there would be maybe one or two houses in our entire neighborhood that were dark, the vast majority of the houses had kids, and were participating. Even the childless homes had stuff for the trick-or-treaters. You could easily fill a pilllowcase with candy just in the four blocks around my house. But back then, we knew all the neighbors, too. Not just the folks on my block, but the folks on all the streets around us. Nowadays, I only really know the folks in the houses on either side of me, and only because they are also holdouts from the original families of the old neighborhood. I know the new folks in the houses across the street, but only because I see them in passing every few days. If i go a few houses down the block on either direction, it's either new families I haven't met, or folk that have lived there for several years, but i still haven't met them. It's not like i hide in my house. I go out often for walks around my neighborhood, and i say Hi to folks as i pass, but paople aren't as friendly nowadays. I wish more of the folk in the hood would make an effort to meet everybody. This has always been one of the few neighborhoods in town where people feel safe leaving their doors unlocked. My new neighbor across the street has left for work several times in the last few weeks and left her garage door up all day. Nobody tries to steal from her, because The neighbors keep an eye out for each other. Safety and Security start with knowing your neighbors.

Enough of this. I'm going to leave you with another Comic Book Top-Ten, and then go be a hermit for a day.

Top Ten Ways To Get Kicked Out of Avengers Mansion
10) Allow Uncle Ultron to crash on the couch.
9) Raid Janet Van Dyne's wardrobe. Ask if she has anything smaller.
8) Accept collect calls from KANG
7) Steal Towels
6) "Borrow" Cap's Shield to go saucer-sliding in Central Park
5) Keep asking,. "How come we can't get a nifty Satellite like The Justice League?"
4) Tell Thor that your Hammer is bigger.
3) Repeatedly drop your trousers and shout, "I'm MOON Knight!"
2) Hide Iron Man's Naval Jelly.
1) Ask Jarvis to pass the Jelly when you know that it's Polaner All-Fruit.

Friday, October 31, 2003

Well it's Halloween, and i feel like dancin', and i feel like shinin', and I fell like lettin' loose.

Why can't each day be like halloween?

I wanna fuck, i wanna fuck the dead.

I was working in the lab, late one night.

You were a vampire, and I was the walking dead.

I believe in halloween.

It ain't no sin to take off your skin, and dance around in your bones.

Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little girl like you.

I told the witch doctor i was in love with you.

Those fingers in my hair, that sly come-hither stare, that strips my conscience bare, It's witchcraft.

I put a spell on you, because you're mine.

Looks like we're in for nasty weather.

How would you like to be scared right out of your socks, whether or not you're wearing socks?

I was struck by lightning, walking down the street. I was stopped by something I spied in my sleep.

I saw the thing coming outa the sky, it had one big horn, and one big eye.

I swear they was spooks, spooks, spooks, spooks!.

No costume, no candy.

(this post brought to you by my favorite Halloween tunes. I dedicate my Halloween fun to the memory of Sheb Wooley this year. {no these aren't all from Sheb's songs})

Monday, October 27, 2003

I don't want to start off your week on a downer, But My Great Aunt Catherine passed away a few days ago. We weren't close, so i'm not devastated. I think the last time i saw her was at my Grandmother's (her sister's) funeral back in 1990. The weird thing is I was just wondering about her the week before, as i drove past her old house. This house is in a neighborhood that has become a run-down ghetto since the early 1980s, and her old block has had about five shooting deaths in the past year.

In the 1970s, I used to enjoy visiting there, where she lived with my great-Grandmother, but nowadays, (well a few months ago when i was working, that is) I hate having to go thru that neighborhood, let alone having to get out of my car, and say, deliver a Pizza.

I don't know how Aunt Catherine stayed there alone as long as she did after her Mother died. I think they put Catherine in a home in the early 1990s.

What stands more than just her passing is the milestone it creates. She was the last living member of My Grandparents' generation. I never knew any of my four grandfathers, they were all dead or in asylums before i was born. (for the complicated explanation of why i had four "grandmas", see the story in Unshaven CHI #4) So a link to family history is now closed to me. Those details about the side of the family that migrated west at the beginning of the 20th century, after a rift between brothers, and then lost touch with us, these detailss that neither my Dad or his brother Eddie are clear on, will now take painstaking research to recover, if that's at all possible.

...and my Parent's Generation is also dwindling. They're all past retirement, those that are still alive. Of my Mom's 11 siblings, only Sister Mary, and her brother Joe survive with her. Mom is 70, and has had Parkinson's Disease for over 12 years now, and I don't think she'll be around for five more years. My Dad's side of the family is longer lived. 3 of the 4 siblings are still around. Eddie is the oldest, and he's around 75. Susie must be about 62 now. Jimmy is the only dead one. He was the middle child, and the one that I'm most like, surprisingly.
Jimmy was a practical joker, and an avid hobbyist who always had a devilish grin on his face, and was always in the middle of assembling some new project. Jimmy got divorced from his wife when I was about five, and never dated again. He had a son, Scott, who left town with the ex-wife. Scott was a little less than a year older than me. I recently got in touch with Scott via e-mail, and it's a shame my limited contact with Jimmy was infinitely more than Scott ever had growing up. Jimmy moved in with my Grandmother after his divorce, and remained there until the mid-1980s, when one-day around his 50th Birthday, he went on walkabout. He just disappeared. At first, we thought it was just another Hunting Trip. A couple weeks after he left, the family got a call from State Troopers near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Jimmy's body had been found beside the Highway. Apparently he'd been walking, hitch-hiking, and had suffered a heart Attack. Maybe he knew it was his time to die.
I remember his funeral. The morticians had put that devilish grin on his face. I kept expecting Jimmy to pop up, and shout "I Gotcha!" maybe I wanted that to happen. I know I want to have my corpse animated like that at my funeral. I also want to videotape my own Eulogy.

Dad will soon be 68, and his recent hernia operation was the first time he'd been a patient in 35 years. But still, as I watched him in the recovery room, I noticed that he'd become old, and the skin near his IV needle was papery and wrinkled. I think caring for mom is really starting to age him. I'm just noticing that People in my Family are getting old. I'm on the young end of my genration, but i have cousins and even siblings that are starting to have Heart problems, cancers, Adult-Onset Diabetes, etc. It's why I've taken care to adjust my diet (Christian, That Double Cheesburger and Fries that had you worried the other day? That was the one Cheeseburger i allow myself per week), slim down, and get regular exercise. I think I'm much healthier at 40 than I was at 30. I might not be as sane, or as gainfully employed, but such are the side effects of a real Genius that resists conformity.

So, Rambling aside, People get Old. People Die. I'm a Healthy, but Insane, Genius. I'm like Jimmy. Expect me to go on walkabout in about ten more years. That will be just about after I finally get aroound to publishing my "One Last Ride on The Ghost Truck" graphic Novel, hich has been written now for about fifteen years, and has sat by my drawing board, with two pages finished, for about five years now.

Now, i have to get dressed, and go put in some Job Applications before i go to work at the Haunted House tonight. Pain in the ass. This week the Haunted Mill is open every night, no break. Now is when it starts to feel like work.

Monday, October 20, 2003

Monday, monday, monday. It's the start of My Weekend. It's Haunted MIller Time! (sorry for the bad pun. I've gotten in the habit of shouting that in my "Monster Voice" each evening as the last victims exit the Haunted Mill.)

The Boards at Slush are kinda dead. You can really tell that Chris R. is again gainfully employed as of Today.

I watched BASEketball again this morning. When this film came out, I was still on the comp list for MOJO records because of reviews I was writing for SKA-toons.
Ah, those were heady times, when i felt important because guys in Reel Big Fish and Cherry Poppin' Daddies knew my name. Now of course, I'm Nobody Famous, Dammit!

So anyway, i was watching this movie again, because it really does have as many funny, silly moments as Airplane!, and I noticed the song "Warts on my Dick".
I thought , that's a cool song, i ought to put it on my next mixtape. So i dug out my comp disc of the soundtrack, and that song isn't on it! Boogers! I guess i can still dub it off the VHS, but then I'll have all the SFX from the scene, too. That bites. way to start the day.

On a brighter note, I checked out Seattle Comics Great David Lasky's neat website this morning. He's got some strips up there i hadn't seen before, including several that ran in The Pulse. I hope he soon ads a shopping cart system to buy his cool mini-comics, so that he doesn't have to rely on ebay.

I've been using ebay to sell my minis and other stuff recently, too, in fact this past week was pretty good for a change. I guess i had the right "other stuff" up. I mean , I only sold a few of my minis. (I guess I have to get showered so I can get the weekend's purchases out to the Post Office this Afternoon. ) I have set up a store front at my "I'm Nobody Famous, Dammit!" website, thru which you can easily acquire all the minis I have in print. With Paypal, you can easily pay with a credit card, or transfer funds from a checking account safely. If you don't have a PayPal account, sign up is easy and free at the checkout. Or you could simply e-mail me with a list of books you want, and i can arrange for you to mail payment.
here's my store link:

Seeing Dave Lasky's site makes me really want to re-design my site. Maybe that's how I'll spend my days off.

Friday, October 17, 2003

If you've always been suspicious of the misleading charms of Game Show Hosts, then trip on over to Something Awful - The Internet Makes You Stupid ad check out the log for today (Oct 17). The "Truth" about Wink Martindale. It will astound you.

This is the most amazing news I've read since i learned the truth about Chuck Woolery. How he took his name from the place where he used to do such horrible things to sheep as they were sheared.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

I thought I'd start using this blog as a place to jot down story ideas as I get them. Then maybe i won't forget them, and also maybe my couple or so readers can provide helpful feedback before I commit the idea to Bristol Board.

------------------------------the hurricane book idea-----------------------
I was thinking the other day about a story, where a guy in a bar watches as a girl approaches, flirts and eventually rejects him, leaving him emotionally devastated and getting "trashed" at the bar. The narrative would be like an interior monologue describing the action in Hurricane metaphor. "I feel a swell as she approaches" "These bands should forewarn me" "I'm caught in her eye, all seems unnaturally calm" etc.
Maybe the band could have a Goth following, and I could talk about "The Gathering Gloom".
My design for the cover would resemble a set of Hurricane flags, those red and black rectangles. Maybe I could make the book as tall as two flags, and cut the first half of the book horizontally, so that the two flags open independently of one another, and there's a "top story" and a "bottom story" in the first half, then the second half could be a third story that uses the whole height of the page.
i have an interesting auto-bio bar-crawl tale involving the drink "hurricane" i could use, too.

Title Idea: "Skeletons In The Closet" This could be about anorexic fashion models, or it could be about Gay Skeletons. I wonder which would work better.


I want to do a NASCAR mini-comic. it would be page after page of Calvin pissing on characters from other people's mini-comics.

Here's a site where you can order Custom Calvin Window Stickers.


"Animal Magnetism" is my working title for this funny-animal project idea i have. It would be a comic strip in the vein of those refrigerator magnet poetry kits.

each individual panel and word balloon would be attached to a magnet, so that the reader can rearrange them to make up dozens of posible stories. I'd have to take care to design key panels whose lines could represent several different things. Word balloons would be designed to have multiple meanings depending on the situation.
"MMM. I Like Pie" or "Oh no! I'm Late!" could be taken many different ways, for example.

My ultimate goal for the project would be to sell starter kits, and then every six months or so produce a booster pack of new panels and balloons.

I want to do a story about a Sock that's lost its mate in the dryer. The sock is lonely, and despondent, and considering unraveling itself, until a child finds it in the gutter, takes it home, washes it (we can explore the sock's fear of the dryer here), and hangs it by her fireplace to dry. This is when we learn that it's Christmas Eve, and Santa fills the sock with goodies. The sock is now happy because he has a reason to go on living.


"Frustrated Genius Syndrome for Dummies"
I want to do a story about how I grew up with everybody marveling at how smart i was, and how far I'd go in life, yet at 40, I can't even keep a job as a pizza-boy. I would explain my anger at the stupidity of the world around me, how hard it is to live when you constantly feel intellectually superior to others you are stuck amidst. How I would be an Evil Genius if I could just get a handle on the whole "Evil" thing. How i blame my parents, who didn't manage to make any religion stick in me, but who did teach me right from wrong. Hence I'm just a frustrated, smart nice guy who can't stand being a nice guy. I want to be mean, and cool.


Then one of these days I'm going to draw up my bio-piece about Screamin' Jay Hawkins that I meant to do for the Expo Anthology a couple years ago. I even collected about forty pages of notes about his interesting life. But then i couldn't think of a way to fit all the info into a good four to eight-page story in time for their deadline.
There's a lot of cool info about Jay at Screamin' Jay Hawkins (Ugu-Ugu!)
There used to be a site called which had info about the 57 known children, both legitimate, and illegitimate, of the man. (He's rumored to have more than 80 kids.) but my link to that site doesn't work anymore.

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

Chris R., from NYC, is bugging me to update this thing. I wish he'd just get a dayjob, so I didn't have to entertain him all day. Jeez! I gave him a copy of my Howl-O-Ween tape, you'd think that would give him something else to do for at least 90 minutes of the day.
While I've been gone, I've been working to set up a mini-comics store with a shopping cart system. I got that done today, here's the link; A List of Current Comics by BenT
Please go there often, and with PayPal you can order my comics and pay with a credit card or have the funds directly transferred safely from a Bank Account. If you're not a Paypal member, you can sign up for free during the checkout process.

Another thing I've been doing with my time is "working" (actually it's volunteer work) at The Haunted Mill about 11 miles to the SW of York, in the little village of Menges Mills, PA. The Mill is an authentic 263-year-old building full of fright. I'm haunting the basement, in a sort of Cannibal/Shrunken Head get-up. So far I've made 5 people pee their pants, and about half of the people jump back a few feet when i get them.

Since I've been away, I'll give you another Top 10 list. Here are the:

Top Ten Pre-War Rumors that The Kree spread to build resentment toward the Skrulls
10) Jerry Lewis is a Skrull.
9) Skrull Real Estate agents are making the best buildings on Kree-Lar go "Condo".
8) Those Costumed Characters at Disney World? --all Skrulls.
7) Skrull cows make milk that turns into Tofu cheese.
6) Joey Buttafuoco? Larry King? J-Lo? ---Skrulls.
5) The Browns moved to Baltimore so that Skrulls could hide ships in empty stadium.
4) Skrulls are never denied service at Denny's.
3) Skrulls invented Reality Television.
2) Bill Jemas, Jim Shooter, Rob Liefeld, Ron Perlman? Skrull, Skrull, Idiot, Skrull.
1) Blizzard of 2003 was really an invasion force of billions of Tiny White Skrulls!

Okay I'm out of here for now!

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

HI, I haven't posted in a while because of getting ready for SPX. well, I'm back, and here are my photos: Pics From SPX 2003, The Small Press Expo.

I have a suitcase of books to read, and some drawings due for my site update, so when I'm done reading stuff I'll post my comments here.

Saturday, August 23, 2003

well, I looked all around and it's gonna be hard to lay in a supply of 110 minute cassettes big enough to dub a copy of my Halloween mixtape for everybody.

I'm examining the playlist to decide where I can cut ten minutes from each side, in order to fit it onto the standard 90 min cassette that everybody still uses.

I guess since folks all got into MP3 and CD burners, the 110-minute cassette, which was designed to better fit most music CDs on a side, is becoming obsolete. Damn. I liked being able to squeeze an extra few songs per side in.
well I'll look at my play list and try to cull it again. (I've already culled down from about 200 candidate songs to get the 42 or so that made it onto the tape, I have lots of stuff that will have to hope it makes it next year already.)

Here's a website that will help you in your research if you want to get into doing your own Halloween tapes. Nightmare City Halloween is an annual radio broadcast, and is celebrating it's 25th year in 2003. At their site they have info on how to get this Year's show over the web, if you're near your computer on Halloween Night. You can also see playlists from previous shows.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Speaking of Halloween Mixtapes, as there are only 70 chopping days left, i have compiled this year's Howl-O-Ween mixtape. here's my play list:

Howl-O-Ween 2003; Curse of the BentWolf
side 1 "Moonlight Becomes You"
Intro from The Count
Danny Hutton.................................................... Monster Shindig
Screaming Lord Sutch.................................. All Black & Hairy
Nekromantix................................................... Trick or Treat
Nu-Trends......................................................... Spooksville
Louis Armstrong ............................................... Spooks
Dan Russo and His Oriole Orchestra.............. ‘Taint No Sin (to Take Off Your Skin and Dance Around in Your Bones)
Bobby “Boris” Pickett...................... The Werewolf Watusi
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion........................... She Said
Gary Warren.................................................. Werewolf
The Woggles............................................... Dracula’s Daughter
Round Robin................................................ I’m The Wolf Man
Todd Rundgren............................................ Wolfman Jack
GasHuffer................................................. Where Wolfmen Lurk
Children of The Night................................. Monster Time
L7......................................................................... Monster
Danny Hutton............................................... The Monster Jerk
The Brickbats............................................ Do The Dead Girl
The Boss Martians................................. Have You Ever Seen...?
Phantom Creeps.......................................... Intro/Dead Sled
The Superfine Dandelion............................. Janie’s Tomb

Side 2 "Fangs for the Memories"
Sheldon Allman........................... Children’s Day at the Morgue
4 Flops.................................................. Trick or Treat
The Martini Bros.......................... Nightmare (Party On Wheels)
Freddy Fortune & the Four-Gone Conclusions.. Dracula’s Deuce
Zane Brothers............................................. Dracula
The Brickbats.............................................. Dr. Acula
The Groovie Ghoulies....................... (She’s My) Vampire Girl
Adam Ant........................................................ Vampires
Children of The Night....................... Dracula’s Undying Love
Dicky Doo & The Don’ts........................ Flip Top Box
The Neanderthals...................................... I Go Ape
Tarantula Ghoul & The Gravediggers............ King Kong
Bert Convy...................................................... Gorilla
Roy Clark................................................... Spooky Movies
Cris Kevin.................................................. Haunted House
Big Bee Kornegay....................... At the House of Frankenstein
Hollywood Flames.............................. Frankenstein’s Den
Bill Cosby, briefly, on Frankenstein Movies
Eddie Thomas.......................................... Frankenstein Rock
Swinging Phillies.............................. Frankenstein’s Party
Eddie Angel & The Omega Men.. Frankie’s Groovy Monster Boots
Buck Owens................................... (It’s A) Monster’s Holiday
Deadbolt..................................................... Scare Me

If you'd like me to dub a copy of this for you, just send a blank 110-minute cassette and a SASE to:
Ben T. Steckler, POB 7273, York, PA, 17404

if you can't find 110-minute cassettes, send me a good 90-minute tape to replace the 110 from my own stash that I'll have to use. And if you have your own monster-mix that you think I'll like, we can trade.

if you want your copy in time for Halloween, get a blank out to me by the first week of October. my master gets retired from dubbing on October 15th.

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Oh Boy! Folks who have been the recipient of one of my Halloween tapes can probably guess that I have a soft spot for the Classic monster movies, especially when they are used as kitschy educational or promotional tools. here's a great site where the Universal Studios fearsome folks help to teacjh kids about science. Miami Museum of Science - The Atoms Family

Here's a quote from "Frankenstein's Electrical laboratory" that take's on a strange meaning when pulled out of context:

"What is young Frankenstein doing wrong? If you guessed "pulling his toy by the power cord" you're right!
We now have a new theater in York which is bringing in more independent films. I'm anxiously hoping that I don't have to wait too long to see American Splendor, the movie version of Harvey Pekar's great comics. It stars two of the greatest lesser-known talents, Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis.

Until the movie comes out, I'll enjoy reading Harvey Pekar’s Official Blog

Today I must Say a big Happy Birthday to my Sister Tamara. Because I'm her little Brother and It's my job to torment her, i will say Nyahh, Nyaah! You're 43! I won't say anymore, because she can probably still beat me up.
While I've been away, I've had some good news, Comics-wise. Positive Reviews have been coming in for Get BenT! #10 and my FLAGWAIVER comic.
In the last week or so, I've had Great reviews in Xerography Debt, TooMuchCoffeeMan, and Razorcake for Get BenT! #10

Razorcake is a great Punk magazine, written for the mature, intelligent punk. They also gave the good nod to FLAGWAIVER

I feel better about my comics now. I have the push i needed to get my stuff together for the next show.
Hello, It's me. woe, woe, woe, and all that Todd Rundgren stuff.
If you're reading this you're probably one of those who give a damn about comic books. Good. If you're not, I'm sorry to paint you with the broad geekbrush. Please bear with me for a moment while I tell everybody about Jeff Mason's On-line Comics Community over at Delphi Forums. It's the Alternative Comics forum, but discussion there goes on about all sorts of comics and other stuff, even kitties This link will even take you to a thread where comics guys talk about their blog. Click there if you don't think you'll get trapped in a loop of infinte regression. Alternative Comics #514.1

Saturday, August 09, 2003

It's Saturday, and I'm at the drawing Board, furiously trying to finish my pages for the next issue of SHIOT CROCK. It's an APA so you have to contribute to it to see a copy, but don't fear, I've designed my four pages to be easily adapted into a twelve page mini-comic, which I should have available at the Small Press Expo this year. I should also have the next f-ARTjoke compilation.

Cool News! I've been invited to be a guest at ITHACON this year. If I'm Not Careful, I might become Somebody Famous! That Link hasn't been updated to show anything more than the date and time of the next show. I'll let you know when I see something new.

To show that I'm in a better mood Than last time, Here's another Top Ten list:

Top Ten Things Howard The Duck is Doing Now
10) Taking Tambourine Lessons from Davey Jones
9) Script Consultant for Pauley Shore Films
8) Hangs out in the park whenever He's low on croutons.
7) For Kicks, puts on a Sailor Suit and walks around Disneyland goosing the single Moms.
6) Sits in with the Band at Chuck E. Cheese
5) Hangs out on the Strip, asking Hookers if they want to "get Down"
4) Fishes barbarians out of his Peanut Butter jar.
3) Stalks Members of KISS, trying to recapture past glory.
2) Waiting for a Callback from "The Mighty Ducks"
1) Watches Caroline in the City and says, "Lea Thompson? I Did Her!"

Thursday, August 07, 2003

It's August and I am still in search of a purpose. My life is really nothing but a quest for distraction.
I sometimes envy people who are capable of having religious faith. I'm sure it brings meaning to life.
Sometimes I think the only emotion I'm capable of is anger, and that is usually more just out of frustration.
I haven't felt the pure passion of righteuous anger in a long time. What I get is more of a peevishness at the stupidity of my fellow man.

I have times when i feel happy, but it's more of just a momentary delight, not a true happiness. I can't get no satisfaction.
Would winning the lottery or landing a good-paying job make me happy? Well, either way, I might clear away debts and worries, and either have money to buy more distraction or less time to fill with distraction.

I used to be passionate about comics. I was the hard-core geek, spending twenty to thirty dollars every week, at a time when that would buy you more than just eight to ten comics. I looked forward to New Comic arrival day, and that was the day each week it was easiest to get out of bed.

The easiest way to end your passion for comics is to try and run a comic shop. I'm even starting to lose my passion for creating my own comics. I hope that this is just because I'm in the Doldrum weeks before I really have to get my nose to the grindstone for the next Big Show.

I need to find a passion.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Happy Sunday Afternoon.
If you've been to my site, you know that I'm a fan of Wordplay, particularly Palindromes.
Someone just brought to my attention the song BOB on Weird Al Yankovic's New Album.
Pretty funny and clever. Now go buy one of Al's Albums since you just listened to his song for free.

Here's another Top Ten:
Top Ten Tricks The Other Heroes Like To Play on DareDevil
10) Make him the Designated Driver
9) Change his porchlight to a red bulb, and give sailors his address
8) Tell Him his Tights are on Inside-out
7) Talk in Sign Language around him
6) Tell him he accidentally voted for Buchanan
5) Hide the Braille editions of Wizard
4) Trade perfumes and colognes on a daily basis, so he can't tell who's who.
3) Hold his nose, feed him onions, tell him they're apples.
2) Put big sets of concentric circles all over the place to confuse his radar sense.
1) Tie-Dye his costumes while he's sleeping.

Friday, July 25, 2003

well, It's a Hot Summer Friday Night, and I'm the loser at home writing in my Blog. Well. I'm home because something is giving me horrible gas, and the urge to run to the bathroom every 30 minutes only to let out one king-sized Fart. Perhaps it is the ghost of some angry artist whom I've offended in my f-ARTjoke comics. wooooooo.

Not that there's any good bands playing or any Movie I currently feel like wasting money to watch if I felt like going out. But, I'm Middle-Aged now, and I don't know how many Friday Nights I Have Left! But then again, when you're unemployed, every night is Friday Night.

Here's another Top Ten.

BenT Reveals The TOP TEN Pet-Peeves of The Fantastic Four's Dog
10) Long Elevator Rides to the bottom of 4-Freedoms Plaza when I have to Wee-Wee.
9) Johnny keeps Torching the Fetching Stick instead of Tossing it.
8) I get Worn Out fetching Galactus' Pipe and Slippers whenever he's in town.
7) I can't embarrass Alicia Masters by Licking My Balls unless I Slurp Real Loud.
6) Reed Richards is always demonstrating that he could lick his balls, too, if he wanted to.
5) I can never catch that damned Tigra, The Were-Woman.
4) I have Scars from Ben Grimm' Belly-Rubs.
3) Sue keeps turning my Water Dish Invisible.
2) The water in Johnny's Toilet often scalds my tongue.
1) I'm Afraid I'll get blamed for that Mess in the Negative Zone.

Thursday, July 24, 2003

I was cleaning up my desk today, and i found some interesting stuff written in the back pages of one of the notebooks i keep handy. These were some Top-10 lists I made back when I still had my comic shop open. Granted, i don't have Dave Letterman's Writers, but i thought they were funny enough to share here.
But since Top-10 lists are probably as much a cliche in blogs as they are in zines, I'm only going to use them in small doses. Here's today's:

BenT's Top Ten Rejected Vanity Plates for The Batmobile
4) CAPED 1
1) F.O.O.M.

Wednesday, July 23, 2003

I'm back. I really haven't had much to say in the last couple weeks. What little I've had to say could be handled by my regular posts at the Comics Journal Messboard, and over at Slushfactory. If you're looking for any revelations about turning 40, I have none. Birthdays stopped being really important to me after I turned 25 and my auto insurance went down. All turning 40 has done is make me feel creepy when I realized that a certain pornstar I've been admiring on-line has the same Birthdate as me, but twenty years later.
I did get The Simpsons Season One DVD set from my Brother and his family. That provided a couple days of distraction from the blog. Pet-Sitting for a couple weeks also kept me away from the computer. And I re-discovered my PSOne. SIMCity 2000. spent a couple days building and destroying a city I called Bucken Fjord. I need to get my Demolition Racer disk back from my friend Eric. But I probably won't touch the playstation again for another month or so.

The Philly Zine Fest turned out to be what I expected for a first time show. I made about $50 over my expenses (which were cheap. Zine fests are so much easier on the wallet for the exhibitors than Comic conventions. But then you can expect to have lower sales. But a couple Zine fairs I go to have pleasantly surprised me there.) Most of the about 40 tables were DIY Zine Distro folk, with the usual assortment of Cometbus and Burn Collector, etc. Mary Knott and Beppi of
Pretty Beaver comics were the only other comics folk exhibiting. I did see Dave Kiersh in the crowd, but he didn't table. Robert Helms, of Guinea Pig Zero made a presentation. I was probably the only other person in the room who'd been in zines long enough to remember "Factsheet 5" when he made a reference to that old review zine.
I notice that there's a turnover in zine folk about every three years. Few people stick with it for longer. Only the really dedicated or those with deep pockets who can withstand the few-and-far-between moments of slight monetary reward.
No. I can't think of anybody who stays in zines for the financial reward. You gotta find other ways of making it reward you. Intellectually, spiritually, or perhaps they just distract you or give you an occasional smile.
The one change I'd like to see for next year at Philly is the bands. I think it's a good attraction, and having them in the same room as the exhibitors doesn't take the crowd away. But if they must be in the same room, they should keep the volume down. I had to run to the local drugstore and buy earplugs. Nobody could hold a conversation at their tables, except during the interludes. And the bands were a bit too avant-garde musically. The BR-5 were loud, boring and unintelligible. The Dirt weren't loud, but they were spacey, and rambling. Like The Flying Lizards without a rhythm section. I think a combination of the loud music and the heat in the venue caused too many folk to go sit outside, where they could converse (and smoke). This took them out of the picture as potential zine customers. Meanwhile, those of us with a table felt obligated to sit inside and withstand the loud torture, just in case somebody came to the table.

Enough ranting about that. There are a couple things I'd like to mention in the recent news.

While I'm glad that the question of Udai and Qusai's whereabouts has been finally answered quite bloodily, I'm a little disappointed thatwe couldn't take them alive. I'm not upset that they were killed. They definitely deserved to be killed, but it would have been more effective to have them killed by representatives of the Iraqui people, after a well-publicized trial for their crimes. I'm sure that now certain elements will only use them as martyrs, since they were killed by the "Infidel Imperialist Occupiers"

It's a shame that Celia Cruz, the "Queen of Salsa", has passed away. Every Network, Cable, Radio, and Print news source had ample coverage of her death. But where the hell were they during her career, while she was still alive?
Why am I, a white, middle-class, American male, only now hearing about her? Granted, I'm no fan of Salsa Music, but I'm also no fan of Rap, Hip-Hop, Pop Divas, Heavy Metal, Country, or Christian Rock, yet I have plenty of knowledge of artists in those genres, because the Mainstream Media seem to consider it newsworthy whenever one of these artists has a hangnail. Paying attention to an artist after her death, calling her "The Queen of Salsa" in two minutes of news, is little recompense for ignoring an entire musical genre otherwise. Maybe the brief bump up in record sales will help her heirs pay for her burial expenses. Yahoo!

My final rant is about all the media now changing the pronunciation of "Niger". All of a sudden, it's "Nee-zhur" instead of "Neye-jur". I suppose that this fall I will go to the fair to see the Wheat Teisures now, instead of the White Tigers.
This latest round of white-bread journalists trying to ethnically correct themselves seems to me like a typical Nigerk reaction.


Wednesday, July 09, 2003

Hi. I've been away for awhile, partly because of the holidays, partly because these are the weeks that I dog and cat sit for several friends and family members, and partly because I've been working on a new mini-comic which will be available at the Philly Zine Fest this Sunday.

It's another Jack Chick Parody, but this time I've added a twist. It also parodies the old Tootsie Pop commercial, with the little boy, Mr. Turtle, and Mr. Owl.

While doing my research at the Toosie Roll site, I submitted my own results from when i was a kid. Once, on a long car ride, i counted 178 licks on a chocolate Tootsie Pop, until I reached the Tootsie Roll center. Today in my mail, I got a cool frameable certificate documenting my achievement. I like a candy company that embraces its fun side.

Another reason I've been away, is I've been making a mixtape to document my feelings about turning forty tomorrow.
Dr. Bernheisel, if you're still alive, you told me when i was only 17 that I'd have a massive Heart Attack before I turned 40.
Well, I've got less than 12 hours to go then, but If I live that long, and you feel your ears burning, it's me. I'll be screaming a massive "FUCK YOU!" in your honor, on the 40th anniversary of the moment you spanked my ass.

You were the reason i turned punk, and re-embraced Art. Why should I conform, get a well-paying job, get married and raise kids, if you're telling me I won't live to see them graduate? Thank you for stealing my desire to succeed in life.

And, for your info, Doctor, I'm a whole lot healthier now than I was at 30. Except for a full head of grey hair, I think and feel like I'm in my late 20s. My soon-to-be ten-yr-old niece, Kelly, told me the other day that she thought I was only 25.
She'll get a better birthday present from me this year.

Had I not lost my job back in April, I would be spending my 40th with a hooker in Reno. Now, I guess I'll be spending it with my Sister's cats, and drawing comics. Unless there are any hookers reading this that want to come to York for the day.

Friday, June 27, 2003

So What does the "T" in BenT stand for, anyway?

I get that from a lot of people. Most of them think it stands for Thomas, or Timothy. Some Trekkers thought it stood for "Tiberius". Nope It's pretty simple, even if it's not a highly common name. TYRONE.

I got it all growing up, from being called "Tyrone Shoelaces" as a kid, to the guys in my Frat who made me the honorary token Black Guy because they thought Tyrone was a ghetto name. Geezus what a bunch of passive-aggressive racists they were. Perhaps today they're shining shoes or waiting tables somewhere. i doubt it, though. I know that one of the guys who was the worst offender there got snapped up by the Republican National Committe right out of school.

Actually I was named for Tyrone Power, who was one of my Mother's favorite actors.

I read something in a volume of Uncle John's Bathroom Reader just the other day that sheds a new, ironic light upon Power being my namesake.
It seems Tyrone Power died of a Massive Coronary following a swordfight scene during the filming of "Solomon" in 1958.
They were using 15-lb swords, and Power, while an accomplished swordsman, was getting older, and started to struggle during the many retakes made necessary by his opponent's lack of skill with a sword. He felt weak, and asked for a break. He had a heart attack in his trailer, and died en route to the hospital.
Who was the other actor, the one who couldn't handle his sword well? George Sanders.

That Doesn't sound Ironic? Do you know my Dad's full name? George Sanders Steckler.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

I can't believe they tried to charge me the Gringo-Tax in my Hometown.
I went for a walk today, and decided to head into the town to get some lunch at our Central Market House, and sit outside in the courtyard at Cherry Lane, where they usually have lunchtime entertainment on Summer Market days.
It was a trio doing celtic folk songs, all in their late 40s to early 50s, two white guys with grey beards and a white woman.
The way they gave a little monologue with a bad joke to introduce each number, i couldn't help but picture Will Ferrel and Ana Gasteyer doing their SNL routine. Thanks to that routine, I'll never be able to take folksingers seriously again.
As i was finishing my salad, and they introduced their fourth song in a row as "here's a little number about an Irish sailor, leaving the port of Liverpool", I wondered, "Are there any folk songs that aren't about Irish People?" I left after finishing my salad, because I probably would have started heckling them.

So, I visited one of the galleries nearby, dropped off a couple of my minis to the girl working there. (mini-comics. what an ice-breaker.) On the way home, I have to pass thru a little ghetto area, then thru a couple parks, a working class single-family home area, and then into my neighborhood, which is bigger workingclass, and smaller middle-class single family homes. I needed a drink, because it was a hot day, so I stopped at a little Bodega in the ghetto area. I got a Sprite Remix (i like this tropical flavor, I just wish they had a diet version) it was clearly marked $1.00, and our tax here is 6%.
The woman working the register, who was having a heated argument in Spanish in the back, came out and rang me up, and tried to charge me $1.09. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, figuring that her argument might have had her distracted, and said that I thought it should come to $1.06, she said yes $1.06 that's right, but she didn't clear the "$1.09" off the register. I gave her $1.06 and left, but it got me to thinking. This was the second time this week that somebody in a convenience store, somebody "of color" too, tried to overcharge me for items.

The other time was Sunday Night, at some gas station/convenience store in Central PA on the way home from New York. That guy was either Arab or Pakistani, and he rang me up for about 15 cents too much.

I'd like to think that this is just a set of coincidences, and that foreign-born operators of small groceries and convenience stores are not in the habit of ripping-off their customers. It does, however, reinforce the stereotype I see of them in the works of so many Black comedians.

It's one thing to mark up your products a bit more than they'd cost at a supermarket. There's nothing wrong with charging for a convenience, and if I pick up the item at that price and bring it to the counter, I agree that it's a fair price. But when your employees ring in items at a higher price than marked, that is a rip-off.

If this is the way they are with their regular customers in the hood , I can understand why they get targeted for robberies and looting so often.

They should just be glad that folks like me who object to the "Gringo Tax" aren't in the habit of rioting and looting.

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

I took a long walk into town on this hot June day, spent about three hours, and my legs are killing me.
I'm thinking of starting a public service campaign, and making up a mini-comic about a Superhero called [b]Walking Man[/b].

Walking man would encourage responsible adults to improve their health, and better their city just by turning off the TV and going for a regular walk around their neighborhood on a nice afternoon or evening. I think neighborhoods would become friendlier places, and crime would be discouraged just by the simple presence of responsible adults on the street.

I wouldn't be asking folks to start neighborhood narc patrols, busybodies with cellphones trying to clean up the neighborhood. No. I think just by getting out, they can quell the mischief that leads to worse crimes.

Now, one thing I'd like to see get taken care of with this project is the pruning of trees, and the mowing of overgrown lawns. My walk is often interrupted, when I have to move from the sidewalk into the street because of a low-hanging branch, or a lawn where the grass is a foot or more tall, and it looks tick-infested.

My idea would be to have Walking Man address this problem in the comic, and what I'd do is attach the comic with a twisty tie to any tree branch that I have to stoop or step into the street to avoid.

What Do You think of that?

Tuesday, June 24, 2003

well, I waited until today to go see The Hulk, Because i wanted to see it at a matinee with my pal Eric.

All my fears about the CGI Hulk looking fake were not confirmed. It was a fun movie, and I give it 3.5 stars.
It would get the whole 4th star if only Jennifer Connelly would have got nekkid. But she looked good here. She has one of those faces that looks chubby easily, and with her usual bustiness, she often looks too big for my tastes. (I like smaller breasted women) In this film she looks slender, and her face is narrower.

Nick Nolte plays a wonderful Psycho. I was worried about them changing the back story with Bruce banner's Dad, but they found a way to blend in the abusive dad of the Peter David Hulks, with the Bill Bixby David banner, and throw in a doseof Crusher Creel to boot. The presence in the story of David Banner also gave Thunderbolt Ross more of a Motivation.

I also loved the attention to detail, like the puddles in front of the crumpled Glenn Talbot's face, continuing to ripple even after the Hulk has bounded into the distance, showing that his leaps are still shaking the ground.

One Quibble: As someone who's studied Aerospace, I don't think that an F-15 could have flown that well with the Hulk clinging to the canopy. I think he would have induced quite a bit of drag. And Those were some pretty resilient soldiers, the way they survived all those helicopter crashes, and were able to crawl out alive from a tank that's just been thrown across the horizon. Maybe in an R-rated version, the Hulk would have killed a few soldiers...and Betty Ross might have got naked.

Monday, June 23, 2003

Well, I'm back from the MoCCA Comics show in New York. I made about $50 less than I was hoping to, but I still made a profit on the trip, and I'm happy with my sales. I sold the same number of my "ceci n'est pas un peep" t-shirts as I did last year, I probably could have sold a couple more, if i had XLs available. This year, I actually made more money from the sales of my mini-comics than from my T-shirts. That is a good sign.

I wore the prototype of my "f-ARTjoke" t-shirt, and a lot of people liked it. I gave them all a card with the URL to my Cafe Press shop, where I hope some of them will order one. (My weblinks are over there in the right margin) One of my goals for this show was to let folks know that I now have a web presence. Well, i got rid of almost all the cards I'd printed announcing it.

I saw a lot of my comics and web friends, Tony Consiglio, Alex Robinson, Mike Dawson, Chris Radtke, Jeff Mason, Zack Soto, Bob Corby, Matt Feazell, Suzanne Baumann, Robyn Chapman and Kelli Nelson (The Preview of their new anthology, TRUE PORN looks Great!), Danny Hellman, Sam Henderson, Craig Bostick, Jack Turnbull, Dan Moynihan, Scott Roberts, Nick Bertozzi, Ellen Lindner, Scott Mills, Andrew Zaben, Tim Kelly, Jenny Gonzales, and many more.

I got to chat with Dave Kiersh, and passed along Delaine Derry's recent kudos. I met for the first time several folks whom I'd only known thru message board conversations, like Matt Singer, Ed Matthews, Pete the Retailer, and Saint Tweedy. I passed along review copies of my new material to several folk, including Rich Watson and Tom Spurgeon.
I gave sample copies of my Jack Chick parodies to Kristen from LAST GASP!. I'd love to get those picked up for distro.

It was a good show, and even though my sales were a little lower than I'd hoped, that extra money was what I would have just turned around and spent on some of the nicer new collections debuting at the show, like the new Kramer's Ergot, or the Quimby the Mouse book from Chris Ware, or Adhouse Book's Telstar. Those will be available at a show my future, I hope.

After the show, we drove over to Fairfield, New Jersey, and had dinner at the restaurant my cousin Brett now manages.
It's called 94th Bomb Group, and sits right at the edge of the Runway of the Fairfield Airport. The place is done up like a WW2-era French Country farmhouse, and decorated in a war-time theme, with exhibits dedicated to the real 94th Bomb group, and the Memphis Belle. My meal of marinated Pot Roast with chive dumplings was superb, and the portions are generous. The restaurant is at 195 Passaic Ave in Fairfield, just a hop down I-80, west of NYC. for info, call (973) 882-5660. Sunday Night, by the way, they have an Over-30 Singles night in the Lounge there, and I'm happy to say that I caught several nice looking women checking me out as I walked thru.

Now, today is a Sunny Day, and I have an Air Conditioner to install, and then I'd like to get outside for awhile, so I'm going to stop blogging now.

Friday, June 20, 2003


Here it is, almost to the Solstice, and This Spring of 2003 may possibly go on record as the Wettest Spring Ever here in the Mid-Atlantic States. I think since late April, we've been having at least 5 days of rain a week. I know that there's been only one day dry enough per week to try and mow the lawn. It's a real pain in the ass having to spend the only nice day of the week working on the yard. And it takes longer to mow, because the grass is still damp. You have to stop frequently to scrape off the bottom of the mower.

The funniest part of it is, last Summer we were under Drought restrictions, and the same folk complaining about all this rain now were praying for it a year ago. Be careful what you wish for, indeed.

My Sister-In-Law has mentioned feelings of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) due to the lack of Bright Sunny days.

I know these gloomy mornings have made it difficult for me to get out of bed before 9:30 on many days. Of course, part of that can be attributed to my habit of staying up drawing or surfing the internet until 2:00 a.m.

I really want to try a McGriddle sandwich, but until I'm showered and dressed, Mc Donald's has stopped serving breakfast for the day.

Now the forecasters are predicting rain well into Sunday for the region, including New York City. I worry that means that MoCCA won't be swarming with cute women in skimpy tops like it was last year. I will hold to the hope that the rain won't deter them, and in fact the show will be teeming with cute women in WET skimpy tops this year.

Now to check for the mail, and try to get something done today.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003

Well, I'm sorry if anybody missed me yesterday, but I really couldn't think of anything to post about after I finally found the time to post. Tuesday is usually my Movie Day, but I also had to get all the copies made of my mini-comics, so that I'm fully stocked for Sunday's MoCCA Comics Art Festival in NYC. I'll be there at my Table in the Puck Bldg from 11 in the morning until 7 at night, trying to keep the hordes of fans from trampling one another to get to me.

I made a new mini-comic for this show. It's a Jack Chick parody again. This one is called "FRESH HOT PIZZA!", and tells the tale of Luigi, the boy who delivered Pizza to the Last Supper. It's a parable about how Jesus would want his followers to pay more respect to the Pizza-Boy, and also Tip Better. Keeping the scary nature of Chick Tract covers, the cover illo features the Devil himself, posed like the Chef on a generic Pizza Box, holding a fresh slice amidst the flames, and giving the "A-OK" sign, (which in some parts of the world is "the Evil Eye").

For those who can't make it to NYC for the show this weekend, I will have a preview on my site, and you'll be able to order it thru my ebay shop beginning next week.

Speaking of ordering stuff... I just got a sample of my f-ARTjoke tee-shirt yesterday from Cafe Press. It looks sharp, and the colors on the design came out nice. It's a new rendition of the art from my cover to f-ARTjoke #0. If you go to my site, and check out the f-ARTjoke of The Week page, you'll see a smaller version of the art, with a link over to Cafe Press, where you can order the shirt, ...and the design is also on Mugs and flying discs!

So Yesterday, after making nearly 1700 copies at the local Mailboxes Etc/ UPS store, which has the best price on copies around here, I took my friend Eric over to the Mall to see Dumb and Dumberer. What a piece of crap!
It came in at under 90 minutes, and it seems like a lot of material was edited out that would have made the movie funnier, and more smooth flowing. And this movie really would have been better with an R rating. I hate that the dialogue makes reference to a female character not wearing underwear, but the movie doesn't let the viewer see this.
Not even from behind! It's a VISUAL MEDIUM! Don't talk about it! SHOW IT! And, as you can probably guess, the only boobs in the picture are the two main characters. I'm just glad we saw it at a Matinee, but even at Matinee prices, that's still $5.50 of my money and 90 ins of my life that I'll never get back.

Monday, June 16, 2003

I spent Last Night in Ravenswood, West Virginia, at the home of my Mom's Long-time Best Friend, June. Her new house is in a development right on the bank of the Ohio River. This morning after an unusually large Breakfast for me (biscuits, gravy, sausage, bacon, eggs, OJ, -they like to see you eat in WVa- I saw some cantaloupe in June's fridge, I would have been happy just to have a slice of that for breakfast), I strolled over to the riverbank just in time to watch two barge-trains go floating past. One was headed upriver, toward the steel mills, 15 barges piled high with coal. The Other was coming back downriver empty. Looking at how much deeper the loaded barges rode, the full train must have had a million tons of coal on it.

When you see reports of a barge colliding with a bridge support, and you think of how slow moving a typical tug is when you've only seen them in harbors, you wonder how they could take out a bridge support. But all that tonnage of coal, even on a slow-moving barge, carries a helluva lot of momentum. And this thing was moving at a good clip. Even from the riverbank, I could see third-level harmonics in its wake. I wouldn't want to be in its way.

And all that coal is driving the economy of the State. Down in the southern portions of the State, Like Boone County, where most of my Family there are living, If you aren't working directly in the Mines, you're working at a company that depends on the mine and its workers for its business. As much as it's hard work, with hot, heavy, dirty, and dangerous working conditions, and as much as I hear my more liberal colleagues complain about raping the Earth's resources, and pollution, I'd hate to see what would happen to the area if the coal industry suffered.

Oh, and as far as pollution goes? Those hillsides in the West Virginia Coal Country are some of the Greenest areas I've ever seen, rich in wildlife and vegetation. And Rich in the character of the people, too.

Friday, June 13, 2003

I don't really have much to say today. I'm packing up to go away for the weekend. My Family always spends Father's Day weekend in West Virginia, visiting the relatives of My Mother's First Husband. He was the Father of my Brother and Two Sisters, although my Dad (Mom's Second Husband) fully adopted the three of them before I came along. My Brother, the oldest, was only five when Mom & Dad married, so my Dad is really the one who raised them, and he's the one they call "Dad". I grew up considering all these folk in WV my cousins, Aunts, Uncles, and Granny, as well, although technically, i'm not related. If you've read my comic Unshaven CHI #4 ( see a preview ), then you know about my odd family structure, and my FOUR GRANDMAS.

I don't always go along now that I'm grown up, but since I'm not working now, and I don't have a comic show, and I'm pretty much caught up with my new book and new toons for my next site update, I decided to tag along this year. Otherwise I wouldn't get to be with my Dad on Father's Day.

Right now, for lunch, I'm enjoying a Turkey and ham sandwich on a Pretzel Roll. They make them, along with bakery-fresh soft pretzels at a local place called Epex (formerly Smittie's) Soft Pretzels, not too far from my house. I wish they had a site that I could point you to. If you've never had a Soft Pretzel before, that is reason enough to visit Pennsylvania this Summer. We have many local and regional business devoted to Pretzel baking.

I never liked Smittie's growing up, because they were the ones that you got at Softball Games, or other Sporting and Community Events, and you rarely got them fresh. Often they'd been cold-stored over night and thawed, causing condensation around the salt crystals, and ruining the texture. But when they opened up the shop nearby, and I tasted one FRESH, I became hooked. For a while, their sandwiches were a well kept secret for lunch. For half the cost of a nearby deli, they gave you twice the meat. But word-of-mouth has spread, and now if you wait until noon to go over, you'll be in a line that stretches out thru the door.

And I said I didn't have much to talk about today. I'll be back Monday Night, and I hope I have something to say then.

Thursday, June 12, 2003

Today's a nice day, and it's a Market day, so I headed downtown and got myself a Frozen OJ, a Broccoli/Cauliflower Salad, and an order of Chicken Livers and enjoyed being outside.

They're refurbishing the performing Arts Center right next to the market, and building a new ten story Courthouse a block away. With the just opened state-of-the-art office complex a block in the other direction, The little strip of shops tucked into the corner beside the market house is poised for a revival. They all either have new tenants, mostly art and craft galleries, or the current tenants are redesigning, and brightening their appearance. One New Co-Op gallery has opened in the building directly adjacent to the Market. The nice thing is they have a courtyard behind them onto which The Market house has a doorway. This doorway had long been padlocked shut, but it looks like the gallery struck a deal to make something pleasantly useful out of this found space. They fixed up the courtyard into a nice little outdoor gallery, with murals and cocktail tables for Market patrons to sit at, and The market House has opened up the doorway. I enjoyed the scenery, and picked up a nice handcrafted photo frame for Dad.

York, PA is the First Capital of the United States, and if you come this Summer to visit all the Historic Sites Downtown, such as the site of the signing of The Articles of Confederation, drop in to The Central Market for a fresh bite, and see the galleries. There's more info about York, The City and the County here.

After Market, I went to Wal-Mart to get a new printer cartridge, and found the HULK HANDS! on sale there for only $15.09, so of course I got a pair.
Is This The Real Life? Is this Just Fantasy?
I had a weird Dream. Weird because it was so realistic.
First I dreamed that I woke up, and i had a piece of chewing gum in my mouth. I noted to my dreamself that I'd been chewing that same piece of gum for more than a day, and I should spit it out. So I did.

I got dressed in a shirt, tie and dress pants, and went outside into the parking lot of my Old Elementary School, Jacob L. Devers. Apparently this was a College Campus now, and a passing student greeted me as "Professor". Upon hearing this, I remembered that I had a Lecture to give, and it was almost time. But my hair felt grungy, so I went across the street to a Dollar Store to look for some shampoo.

Inside the Dollar Store was an old school friend, Mark, with some unidentified mysterious companions. He said they were taking him away soon to an undiclosed location for an undisclosed purpose. I had the feeling he was some kind of detainee. Mark was stocking up on the essentials for his trip, Soap, Shaving Cream, Razors, toothpaste, etc. He picked out a package that had all of these items, but I told him not to buy the combo-pack. I showed him how it was cheaper to buy all the items he needed individually. I said that the store puts those packs together, tosses in some merchandise that's been hard to move, and then marks them up to take advantage of tourists and customers in a hurry. The cashier gave me a dirty look. All this time I had taken some of the shaving cream and was massaging it into my hair.

I went into a bathroom in back of the store, and was rinsing out my hair in the sink, when another student came in and said, "Hey, Professor, rough Night?"

I went back to the store, and Mark said he needed to go to his Townhouse to get a few items. He asked me to come along. I rode in the back seat of his beat up old maroon Cordoba. When we got to his apartment, he got out, but didn't cut off the engine, and missed "Park", leaving it in gear. As the car drifted forward, i had to climb into the driver's seat, and try to stop it. His brakes were bad, and the Gearshift was locked, but I managed to pull the emergency brake.

"I think something's wrong with the car," I yelled thru the his door, "I'm going to whack the engine with this broom."
I picked up a broom that was on his porch. Despite the fact that it was a mild day, and little kids were in the neighborhood playing in t-shirts and shorts, this broom was covered in ice and snow. The broom had a little button down near the bristles. I pushed it, and the ice and snow shook loose. As I approached the car, it started to drift backward, up a slight hill. I tried to stop it, yelling at the kids to clear the way, but could only grab hold of the side mirror. This did cause the car to veer, though, and it ended up smashing into a dumpster.

The Guy who had the apartment near the dumpster came out, explained he was a mechanic, and looked at the engine.
He found the problem. Apparently part number "90-D-4" was worn out. I looked at Mark and said "90-D-4? When this was your Dad's car twenty years ago, I remember him complaining that Part # 90-D-4 was always wearing out! Didn't you ever get it taken care of?" and that's where I woke up for real.

I wish I could play the number 90-D-4 in the lottery or something.

I'd forward this dream to my Friend and colleague, Jesse Reklaw, who does the Slow-Wave strip about people's dreams, but i don'e know how he'd condense it into three panels. You can check up on Jesse's strip at

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Reasons to love the Internet, Part Three (please don't search my blog for the first two parts, that headline is just a reference to a song by the late Ian Dury.)
I just discovered the webby-award-winning wonder that is What a funny, and well-done personal site! There's lots to look at there, and I've only surfed thru a fraction of it, but I recommend you check out the Toast in a Jar auction story, or the investigative report into those "Lose 30 lbs in 30 Days" and "Work From Home" signs.

That got me thinking about making up a bunch of "Read From Home" and "Get 30 Laughs in 30 mins" signs to promote my mini-comics. I just might do it, if I have any cash to spare after my next trip to the copycenter to print the books I'm taking to MoCCA.

Have I mentioned MoCCA? I would think that most of the folks who have discovered this journal have found it through other comics forums, but Just in case anybody is reading this that doesn't know:

Get Thyself to New York City Next Weekend for the Alternative Comics event of the Summer!

here's a copy of their press release, as I completed it for my local media:
2003 MoCCA Art Festival Provides Showcase for Scathingly Funny Mini-Comics of York’s Own Ben T. Steckler

NEW YORK, JUNE 2003 – The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art (MoCCA) Art Festival – an event that drew thousands of artists, creators, collectors, dealers, publishers, agents and others to downtown Manhattan in its debut last June -- is back and will feature the work of York native Ben T. Steckler this year.

The 2003 MoCCA Art Festival – which offers fans, professionals and the general public an ideal opportunity to view and purchase a wide range of works from independent, alternative, and up-and-coming comic and cartoon artists -- will be held at New York City’s historic Puck Building (293 Lafayette Street at Houston) on Sunday, June 22, from 11:00am to 7:00pm. The event is open to the public. Suggested minimum donation is $5, with all proceeds going to support the nonprofit Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art.

Steckler will be exhibiting several of his mini-comics, including his ongoing titles “Get BenT!”, “Unshaven CHI”, and “Quincy The Scaredy-Cat”. His comics combine humorous autobiographical excerpts with a cynic’s POV of American Pop Culture. He has been lauded by many comics industry critics for his innovative formats, and was recently featured in two different retrospectives about mini-comics. In 2001, he was nominated for the Ignatz Award, in the category of “Promising New Talent”.

“We are thrilled to have the work of Ben T. Steckler as part of this year’s Art Festival,” says MoCCA Chairman Lawrence Klein. “Whether people are already aficionados of comic and cartoon art or just want to learn more about some of the wonderful work being done today by people like Ben, the MoCCA Art Festival is a great place to see and support these artists.”

Other artists scheduled to participate include Bill Plympton (Mutant Aliens, Hair High), Craig Thompson (Goodbye, Chunky Rice), Howard Cruse (Stuck Rubber Baby), James Kochalka (Pinky & Stinky, Monkey vs. Robot), Jeff Smith (Bone), Mike Mignola (Hellboy), Patrick McDonnell (Mutts), Peter Kuper (SPY vs. SPY, World War 3 Illustrated), and Phoebe Gloeckner (The Diary of a Teenage Girl). This year’s Special Guest Honoree will be Art Spiegelman (RAW, Maus, Little Lit).
The Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization dedicated to the collection, preservation, study and display of all forms of comic and cartoon art. The museum promotes greater understanding and appreciation of the artistic, cultural and historical significance of comic and cartoon art through a variety of events, exhibitions, and educational programs. For more information about the museum or specific MoCCA events, exhibitions and programs, please contact Ken Wong (212-254-3511,]) or visit the museum’s Website (
For more information about Ben T. Steckler’s comics, please visit him on the web at:

here's a link to the MoCCA site, where you can get all the necessary info.
Hey, Wow! I read that Blogger was being purchased by Google. They must have merged somewhat already, because I just did a search for "Movie Marquees Tombstones" on Google, and my own blog, less than a week old, came up as the #2 item. In that spirit, Let me just state briefly that I do several on-line comics at my website, such as "The Evil Dr. Palindrome", "f-Artjoke", "Hey Lookit What I found", "MODOK The Menace", "Punk Rock Heaven", and other random Gag cartoons. They can all be linked to thru my homepage, "I'm Nobody Famous, Dammit!", to which you'll find a link on the right hand margin of this page.

Let me add, fart, fartjoke, wordplay, humor, art, parody, mini-comics, Joey Ramone, tribute, coffee, small press, independent, alternative, comics, fluffy, cat, pet, Jack Chick.

I apologise for that shameless exploitation of the search engine.

Now let me get back to what I was logging back on to say...

Heres' another site with funny, ambiguous headlines.
Because it's from a teaching reference, of course they dry it up by taking the time to explain why the headline is ambiguous. Still, they're some funny headlines, and if you're not careful, you might learn something, too!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
I shouldn't laugh, because I'm sure I would royally fuck-up anything I tried to write in an Asian Language.
However, i can't resist a hearty chuckle when I look at the items over at

It features photos of packaging, foods, drinks, signs, ads from China and Japan, on which a horrible attempt at english wording makes for some embarrassing double entendres.

So if you liked the old NatLamps true facts, check this out.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Finally. It's a nice sunny day in the 70s, after so many weeks of rain, chill, and gloom. A perfect day for a long afternoon walk, and there's nothing like a long walk alone to give you time to sort and distill ideas. My legs are sore, but my mind is brimming, ready to put to paper some of those storylines that pop-up when I'm in the shower. Ideas.
memo to self; waterproof shower-caddy note-pad and pen, for recording ideas as they pop up.

I have an illo on that subject in Pam Bliss' latest issue of
HOPELESSLY LOST, But Making Good Time
It's a digest-sized zine that gives tips on creating and self-publishing comics. It reprints from Pam's Columns at the Sequential Tart website. Pam's a veteran at the self-publishing and mini-comics biz. I first met her at a Chicago Comicon in 1992, and she had been doing minis for a few years then, I believe. Her books are helpful, fun, and kid-friendly. Find out more at her Paradise Valley Comics site.

Sometimes Ideas can be a funny and useful thing like the The Amazing &Versatile Food Suit.
Follow the "hunger artistes" link and read the well-written and humorous saga of the suit's development. Despite the inventors' penchant for baseball, it's still an amusing little story, and the Food Suit could come in Handy. They should think beyond baseball, though. Make them in Black, and Market them to fans of DUNE, perhaps. A Food Suit in bright Caution Yellow would be swell attire to help survive a marathon DEVO concert, too.

Monday, June 09, 2003

Now enough of that drama. I want some lighter fare.

Do you like anagrams? Any body that's seen my Evil Dr. Palindrome cartoons knows I'm a fan of wordplay.

So the other day, I'm over on famous word expert Richard Lederer's site, Verbivore, and he has a link to this on-line anagram generator, Anagram genius

So i put in my name, and heres what I got back:

Rearranging the letters of 'Benjamin Tyrone Steckler' gives:

Jerk not tiny resemblance. Beastly jerk on increment.
Manly erect bonniest jerk. Jerky, notable increments.
Bean torments nicely jerk. Bonny erect manliest jerk.
Recently, am bonniest jerk. Jerkin as recently entomb.
Jerk in as recently entomb. Jerk recently mean snob it.
Jerk sanely entomb cretin. Jerk recently best on main.
Jerk recently best in moan. A jerkins entomb recently.
Let's! jerk nice rent-boy man. Recently moan best jerkin.
Beans jerk nicely torment. Jerk tyrannic noble meets.
Jerk tiny cleaners entomb. Menacers jerk bonny title.
O Man! recently jerk in best. Jerk to tinny resemblance.
Jerk recently, I'm neat snob. O Man! recently best jerkin.
Bonny termites jerk clean. Jerk bonny intersect male.
Jerk entirely best con man. Jerk nicely mean best torn.
Recently jerk snob in mate. Been molest tyrannic jerk.
Mental, nice rent-boy jerks. Manly jerks on nice better.
Not jerky, able increments. On jerky, incremental best.
Snack terrible enjoyment. Merely can't bonniest jerk.
Jerk menaces rottenly bin. Jerk bins rottenly menace.
Tiny menacers jerk on belt. No! jerk beastly increment.
Jerk beastly eminent corn. Mean clients jerk rent-boy.
Rent-boy jerks mean client. Jerky beers in malcontent.
Jerky beer in malcontents. Amen! recently jerk snob it.
On jerky, ablest increment. Jerk bonny lame intersect.
Jerk recently team in snob. Jerk recently mean on bits.
Jerk to tyrannic ensemble. Manly best not nice jerker.
Bonny mercies jerk talent. Entomb else tyrannic jerk.
Jerk robs intently menace. Stink recently been major.
Jerk nestle manic rent-boy. Jerk nicely torn basement.
Jerk nicely best to manner. Jerk nicely better on mans.
Jerk nicely been not smart. Jerk recently insane tomb.
Recently. Jerkins beam not. Notably jerk semen cretin.
Let's! jerk bonny nicer mate. I'm absent jerk on recently.
Jerk manly 'n' best erection. Jerk yet incremental snob.
Jerkins better once manly. Jerk to 'n' tiny resemblance.
Tiny elements jerk on crab. Jerk slim rent-boy canteen.
Male jerk 'n' nicest rent-boy. Jerk namely best on cretin.
Jerk timely entrance snob. Nearly entomb nicest jerk.
Bonny jerker man testicle. Recently best joker in man.
Jeer better slinky con man. Knob recently main jester.
Jerk since mental rent-boy. Jerk manly since on better.
Jerk manly orbit sentence. Stink mercenary, noble jet.
Jerk ton tiny resemblance. Jerk bonny slim erect neat.
Amen! jerk nicely torn best. Nicely jerk not. Brat semen.
Bane torments nicely jerk. Recently jerk snob in meat.
Manly jerk on nice betters. Manly jerk not nicest beer.
Recently. Jerkin snob mate. Jerk rent-boy lest nice man.
Termite cleans bonny jerk. Jerk manlier bye contents.
Jerk nicely best neat norm. Jerk nicely term neat snob.
Jerk sincerely entomb ant. Jerk recently bites on man.
Namely jerk not nicer best. Menacers jerk only bitten.
Recently team jerkin snob. Best manly erect on jerkin.
Jerk belt serenity con man. Let's! jerk menace tiny born.
Jerk lenient rent-boy scam. Amen! clients jerk rent-boy.
Menacer titles bonny jerk. Let's! jerk bonny menacer it.
Jerk recently best main no. Jerk not blast nicer enemy.
Jerk stony, able increment. Am best jerkin on recently.
Links reject mean rent-boy. Job resentment 'n' creakily.
Recently mean job stinker. Beastly jerk not nicer men.
Jerk ably coin resentment. Lame jerk 'n' nicest rent-boy.
Nice jerk torments by lane. Nice jerk torments by lean.
Jerk nicely betters on man. Men obtains recently jerk.
Jerk recently name snob it. Jerk manly better nice son.
Jerk on masterly, nice bent. Jerk merely bonniest cant.
Jerk intersect noble many. Jerk misty, noble entrance.
Jerk only best mean cretin. Jerk stay noble increment.
Jerk noble, semantic entry. Molest entrance by jerkin.
Jeer knob manly intersect. Bank torments nicely jeer.
Conk manly jeers in better. Jeers entomb lanky cretin.
Meek, tyrannic, nobler jest. Jerk as inclement rent-boy.
Jerk select rent-boy in man. Jerk bonny interest camel.
Let's! I am bonny, recent jerk. Let's! I'm a bonny, recent jerk.
Jerk bonny intersect meal. Jerk bonny racist element.
Remnants jerk by election. Jerk recently mates in nob.
Amen! recently jerk on bits. Jerk recently inmost bean.
Jerk manly best nicer note. Jerk manly intersect bone.
Innocent tabs jerk merely. Jerker bye in malcontents.
Jerkin moans recently bet. Jerkins bet recently moan.
Jeer nets crankily entomb. Jeers entomb crankily net.
Ten jeers crankily entomb. Jerk calm intense rent-boy.
Molest by jerk in entrance. Let's! jerk on cretin by mean.
Let's! not mean by nicer jerk. Jerk recently entomb a sin.
I best recently jerk on man. Jerk masterly Bonnie cent.
Jerk creamy, bonniest lent. Blast! jerk enemy on cretin.
Intently jerk on embraces. Jerk only beast increment.
I'm nasty, noble, recent jerk. Neat jerkins mob recently.
Jest kernel manic rent-boy. Let's! knob in mercenary jet.
Entomb crankily sneer jet. Tiny jerk blames on center.
Ninety jerk romances belt. Jerk beastly men on cretin.
Jerk balmy, rotten incense. Jerk by manner on testicle.
Jerk recently beams in not. Recently jerk an item snob.
Jerk recently tame in snob. Jerk recently boast in men.
Jerk recently bin on mates. Jerk recently bins to mean.
Jerk recently bet in moans. Best on manly erect in jerk.
Content! jerk seemly brain. Jerk rottenly been in scam.
Increment beats only jerk. Increments jerk only beat.
Nice entry blames not jerk. Jerkins elect rent-boy man.
Man jeers recently knob it. Resemble cannot tiny jerk.
Tiny elements jerk carbon. Let's! jerk bonny manic tree.
Let's! jerk bonny neat crime. Let's! I am bonny jerk center.

I think the thing thinks I'm a jerk. well, you try living with a middle name like "Tyrone"
and not ending up a Jerk.