It's August and I am still in search of a purpose. My life is really nothing but a quest for distraction.
I sometimes envy people who are capable of having religious faith. I'm sure it brings meaning to life.
Sometimes I think the only emotion I'm capable of is anger, and that is usually more just out of frustration.
I haven't felt the pure passion of righteuous anger in a long time. What I get is more of a peevishness at the stupidity of my fellow man.
I have times when i feel happy, but it's more of just a momentary delight, not a true happiness. I can't get no satisfaction.
Would winning the lottery or landing a good-paying job make me happy? Well, either way, I might clear away debts and worries, and either have money to buy more distraction or less time to fill with distraction.
I used to be passionate about comics. I was the hard-core geek, spending twenty to thirty dollars every week, at a time when that would buy you more than just eight to ten comics. I looked forward to New Comic arrival day, and that was the day each week it was easiest to get out of bed.
The easiest way to end your passion for comics is to try and run a comic shop. I'm even starting to lose my passion for creating my own comics. I hope that this is just because I'm in the Doldrum weeks before I really have to get my nose to the grindstone for the next Big Show.
I need to find a passion.