Thursday, November 27, 2003

Oh, by the way, i apologize for not blogging or updating my cartoons for awhile.

I have an eye condition the doc calls UV-itis or something like that. all i know is about 14 years ago i had pinkeye in my left eye, and ever since then that eye gets tired before the right, and if I strain it too long, it gets inflamed. If I drive too long at night, or play playstation for too long a stretch, it'll get sore for a day or so. It really flares up maybe once every six years, and when it does that, it takes over a week to get back to normal, and only with lots of expensive prescription eyedrops.

I guess all that "research" into the Paris Hilton videotape was too much, on top of all the ebaying I've been doing. Hey, I've made close to $500 this month on Ebay, but for over a week now I've been walking around looking like Quasimodo with a concussion. One eye all bulging and pink, and dilated from the drops.

So for the last ten days or so, My eye would get too sore to spend much time on the computer, and the light reflecting off white paper on my drawing board hurt, too.
So I really haven't been able to draw for all that time. well today, the medicine seems to be clearing it up, so i should be getting back to schedule this weekend.
Right now, it's getting a little tired, though, so I'm going to shut down.
well, the pecan and pumpkin pies are baked.
I won't take credit or blame for them. I was supposed to be making them. Mom was just going to prep her crusts, and I'd do the fillings and baking. Then this evening I smelled stuff baking upstairs, and went to the kitchen to find Mom cooling two pecan pies, and getting ready to put the pumpkin in the oven.

She just can't stand somebody doing the work for her. And I was going to make cool little individual pecan tarts, and my extra special pumpkin pie. she just whipped up the recipe on the pumpkin can, and i have to be honest, it tastes storebought.

...anyway... i just finished cooking down the giblets to make stock for the stuffing and gravy. The Turkey is thawed, cleaned and prepped in its pan. This is the first year since I moved back to York that I'm doing the cooking, since My sister decided She's eating with her Boyfriend's family this year. It's just gonna be me and five senior citizens at our place.

I had to run out tonight to Wal-mart and get a meat thermometer. I can't believe my mom cooked for us for all those years and didn't have a meat Thermometer. Maybe all those bouts of diarhea growing up were really food poisoning.

All i need to do tomorrow is finish mixing the stuffing, stuff, oil, and lube the bird, and pop it in the oven before 9AM tomorrow.

then when the bird has about an hour to go, i mix up the baked corn, adjust the oven temp, and slide the pan in on the rack above the bird. I'll pop some Pilllsbury biscuits in the oven while i carve the turkey. I hope to be eating by 2:30ish.

My one aunt is bringing the orange-cranberry relish and the green-bean casserole. My other aunt is bringing the homemade pickles, and my Mom's friend Alma, who has no family, will probably bring enough sweet potatoes to feed sixty people, no matter how many times we tell her it's just the six of us.

My stuffing? cornbread base, with liver, sausage, onions, carrots, sage, roasted garlic, and diced dried plums.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Sunday, November 16, 2003

Junior Pornographer's Roll Call
Okay, because that thread about the Paris Hilton sextape over at SlushFactory has been generating over 100 hits an hour for the last few days, and because people clicking on the link in my signature when i made some sarcastic comments there has brought over 100 new people to my own site each day this weekend, and actually flooded my bandwidth last night... (lotta lonely guys looking for free porn action on a Saturday Night. Go Figure.)

So, "Because", I hustled over to my drawing board and knocked out my own comic interpretation of the awful tape. Hopefully it'll be hosted on slush as soon as BJacks nods approval, but until then, here it is at my beleaguered site.

One fine evening in a Hilton, In Paris

I'm a whore, too, I guess. Please visit my store and order a mini-comic while you are there.

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

A Cool Small Press Title to Check Out
I realize that most of the folks that probably read my blog are fellow small-press comics folk, and i might be preaching to the choir here, but just as I would appreciate anything that wouold help me expand my audience, I'll post this oin the odd chance that there are new readers out there in blogland.

I met Justin Madson at a couple small press shows, and really enjoyed his comic Happy Town. It's a moody, beautiful tale, and Justin has a sweet style that reminds me of a blend of James Kochalka and Linda Medley. He has a new issue out now, #8, and a really neat box set of the first seven issues. You can order all of his stuff easily thru PayPal at his website. Give it a look. Just Mad Books: The home of Happy Town Comics by Justin Madson

Tuesday, November 11, 2003

Recent Distractions
Here's what has been keeping me from drawing alot recently. If you need to limit your own productivity, and just distract yourself for some time, i recommend all of these.

DISCWORLD Novels by Terry Pratchett. I spent a good part of the weekend reading his latest, Monstrous Regiment. Great story. Introduces a new region of the disc, and a slew of new wacky characters. Wm DeWord, from Pratchett's earlier release, The Truth, makes a return appearance, and Commander Vimes and Sgt Angua of the Ankh-Moorpork Watch have small roles.

Mystic River. Saw this film this afternoon. Loved it. I see a lot of Oscar nods, particularly for Sean Penn, Laura Linney, and Clint Eastwood, for both score and direction. Maybe even Tim Robbins.

Thrift Store Record Shopping. Today I found a couple spoken word/advice records by Dr. Murray Banks. Funny stuff. Also records by Carl Reiner and mel Brooks, George Burns and Gracie Allen, a National Lampoon Radio Hour collection with Belushi and co., and a few other good finds.

New TV shows This year I'm watching more TV than the last couple seasons. I'm enjoying Arrested Development, Karen Sisco, Two-and-a-Half Men, Stan Hooper, and NOVA the most.

That, and I've been selling a buncha stuff on Ebay, and posting way too much to the message boards. I really need to turn off this computer and draw something.

Monday, November 10, 2003

okay, before i go, I'll give you another TOP TEN, because deep down, you're all comics geeks, and i know you drool over this stuff:

Top 10 Alternate Realities The Watcher Never Showed Us:
10) What If... Galactus was a Vegetarian?
9) What If... The GREEN Goblin, The SCARLET Witch, ThePURPLE Man, RED Raven, YELLOW Jacket, BLUE Beetle, CRIMSON Dynamo, and others didn't use a Color-Safe bleach?
8) What If ... Jerry "The Beaver" Mathers had been bitten by the Radioactive Spider?
7) What If... Dr. Strange did Birthday Parties?
6) What If... Kids could afford Comics again?
5) What If... Jefferson was America's 1st President? ...GEORGE Jefferson.
4) What If... Medusa had a Bad Hair Day?
3) What If... Team America drove for Domino's?
2) What If... Watchers weren't so Nosy?
1) What If... Nick Fury didn't have that Eyepatch, and could look at Steranko Backgrounds with Depth Perception?
Monday. The Silicon Chip inside my head gets switched to Overload.

Well, I'm hanging around, listening to the swinging sounds of WEIRDSVILLE's Exotica channel today. They've become one of my favorites recently, so much that my CDs are getting dusty. They also have a cool channel called "SWANK" and a few other types of webcast. You can check 'em out by going here:
Weirdsville! Web Radio: The Out Sound from Way In

I've some time to myself this evening because I managed to get out of Dinner at the local American Legion hall with Mom & Dad and my Aunt Helen. It used to be a big thing on Monday Night. That's when they have a slate of $3.95 specials, and we'd have eight to twelve people show up for a nice family get-together, but My one Aunt Died, a cousin moved away, My Brother and His family don't like the smoke in the place, My sister often works too late, and the one couple of my Dad's friends that came got sick of the bad food, while another of the couples has a member going senile, and his behavior has become unpredictable.

It 'd winnowed down to just me, My Folks, and Aunt Helen. And they've taken to eating on "Old People Time". In order to get a good close handicapped spot, my Mom insists on getting there before 4:30 PM. In order to have an appetite that early, I usually have to skip breakfast and lunch, which means I can get really cranky if there's something not right with my food. Even if the food is somehow edible, They'll mess it up by bringing out my main course before my soup has cooled, or before I get halfway through my salad. I get tired of telling the wait staff that perhaps they could consider WAITING just a little more. BUt no matter the service or the quality of the food, i can always count on Aunt Helen's chain-smoking to ruin my meal at some point. She usually lights up as soon as we sit down, and only takes a break while she's eating. the problem is that she usually eats less than half her meal, and gets a take home box for the rest. As soon as she's done eating, she'll light up and start chain-smoking again, regardless of whom at the table is still in the midst of a meal. The woman is 83, and sure, she's earned the right to chain smoke if she wants to, but i wish she'd learn manners and at least wait until I've cut my meat.

Well last week was the third in a row that I had to send my meal back for something or other. (Ziti overcooked to the point of Mush, hardly any pork in the Pork& Sauerkraut, steak undercooked, greasy and bloody, etc,) I decided I'm sick of it.
I told MOm & Dad that I'd gladly help them find another diner to go to, but I won't be joining them at the Legion anymore.

It's a shame I have to complain about this today, with tomorrow being Veteran's Day and all. Well, i salute all the guys and gals risking their necks for me overseas right now. And i thank the media for constantly keeping us up to date as one or two more soldiers are killed in Iraq, even though ten times that amount of Americans will die from slipping in the bathtub alone today. Some of them will even slip on bars of soap made by Foreigners, but we won't hear about this tragic killing of Americans on tonight's network news.

I'm gonna go now, get cleaned up and then in an hour or so go and eat with people closer to my demographic, and then come home and watch my auctions on ebay close, and get rich.

Wednesday, November 05, 2003

Ugh! I apologize to those of you who are wondering where my new cartoons are this week. I have been racking my brain to come up with a good palindrome about Noah and his son Ham, to continue Dr. Palindrome's look at Genesis. Right now I have two dictionaries and a Thesaurus open in front of me, as well as a Bible guide, a guide to names in Mythology, an on-line thesaurus, and an on-line dictionary.

I feel like I'm back in College on the night before a paper is due.

You might be familiar with the story where Noah got drunk, and fell asleep naked, and Ham saw him in this embarrassing state. When Noah Awakes, he puts a curse on the children of Ham, that Canaan and his descendants will be slaves to the descendants of Shem (aka the Semites).This is too good a part of the story of Noah not to try and include.

You'd think that "Canaan" would lend itself easily to a palindrome, But I have to put it near the center of the phrase ie: "....Canaan A C~..."
I also tried to build around the core "...SAW DAD WAS..." but no synonym i can find for "naked" fits around that. Unless there is some obscure language where "Mah" means "drunk and naked" , but if it was that easy, I'm sure somebody else would have already made up "Ham Saw Dad Was Mah." I even considered drawing Shem tattling to Joan (You know...Noah's Wife?) "Ma! He Dun Saw Dad Was Nude! Ham!" and make Shem into a Hillbilly. I may use that yet.

I could fall back and use "Mt Ararat M~" as my core and do a different aspect of Noah, but that would be taking the easy road. Besides, I'll need one for next week soon enough.

Does Jon Agee ever have days like this?

I don't even want to think about doing a f-ARTjoke right now.

As i read back over this entry, that Shem as a Hillbilly gag is starting to seem funny.

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Every now and then I like to listen to some cheese. The best cheese on the internet can be heard at Luxuria. :: Internet Radio: Latin Jazz, Groovy 60's Go-Go Soundtracks, Bollywood

They play all the stuff that I love to find when I go album hunting at the local thrift stores. The stuff that kids in my generation would find in the record racks of our swinging bachelor uncles.

Monday, November 03, 2003

Well, I finished up at the mill last night. I had a good time growling at folks for a little over a month. It was cathartic. On the one hand, I'm glad that it's over, but on the other hand, I kinda wish that I could do something like that year-round, and really get paid for it. Not that i didn't get any compensation.
Technically, the workers at the Haunted Mill are classified as "volunteers" since the large portion of the proceeds goes to charity. However, we did get a stipend the size of which depended on our attendance record, and how much we scared our victims. I must have been rather scary, as I got double what the average worker received. If you count the time I actually put into it, what I got amounts to less than 3 bucks an hour, but It's enough to keep my bills paid until the end of the month while I hit the bricks for another job.
I didn't really do it for the money, anyway. I went out there to help my mom's Friend Judy, and because it was something I could get off on. If it did really pay, I'd do it for the money, though.

I'm still waiting to hear on the Meteorology Positions with NOAA I put in for in September. The last time i checked, i was still in the running, but they hadn't made a selection. So in the meantime, I'm looking for anything local that i can make around $300 or more a week at. I put out a few retail applications this past week, and sent some resumes off for retail manager slots. Maybe I can pick up a Christmas season job until I hear from NOAA. Luckily, I was paying down most of my bills Until Papa John's canned me, and I only have about $400 a month in bills. Of course, I have the stigma of Living with Mom and Dad, and knowing that my penis atrophies daily from disuse.

But deadlines are looming this month to register tables for the 2004 comic convention season. SPACE may be the only show I get a table at this year. APE is always a money-loser for me, what with the travel expense to fly to California, so that is probably out, and MOCCA and SPX will probably sell out of tables before i can raise the fees this year. I'll still attend those even if i don't have a table though, if just to drool over the big thick art books I can't afford, and which my colleagues won't trade me for. (Although maybe if I drool on a copy, i can get a discount?)

Well, I have to go now, and decide which of my body parts I can sell on Ebay this week for spending money. How much does a partially atrophied penis fetch nowadays?

Saturday, November 01, 2003

Okay. It's Saturday, and I thought I'd do a quick update before Penn State gets their asses handed to them by Ohio State.

Halloween is past, and today the candy is on sale. Christmas decorations are going up already in the stores. It's like the Halloween Spooks have really Taken over Christmas a la Tim Burton. I still have two more nights at the Haunted Mill, but we're in the denouement now. I scared over 1000 people last night. ...and then i put my mask on. HA! I kill me.
I was a little concerned about the safety of my house last night, as this would be the first Trick-or-Treat night in years when nobody would be home. But we escaped un-egged, with no vandalism. In the last five years or so, there have only been maybe four or five houses on my block that do anything for the trick-or-treaters, so I guess by being dark last night, we were just one more party-pooper on the block.

When i was a kid, there would be maybe one or two houses in our entire neighborhood that were dark, the vast majority of the houses had kids, and were participating. Even the childless homes had stuff for the trick-or-treaters. You could easily fill a pilllowcase with candy just in the four blocks around my house. But back then, we knew all the neighbors, too. Not just the folks on my block, but the folks on all the streets around us. Nowadays, I only really know the folks in the houses on either side of me, and only because they are also holdouts from the original families of the old neighborhood. I know the new folks in the houses across the street, but only because I see them in passing every few days. If i go a few houses down the block on either direction, it's either new families I haven't met, or folk that have lived there for several years, but i still haven't met them. It's not like i hide in my house. I go out often for walks around my neighborhood, and i say Hi to folks as i pass, but paople aren't as friendly nowadays. I wish more of the folk in the hood would make an effort to meet everybody. This has always been one of the few neighborhoods in town where people feel safe leaving their doors unlocked. My new neighbor across the street has left for work several times in the last few weeks and left her garage door up all day. Nobody tries to steal from her, because The neighbors keep an eye out for each other. Safety and Security start with knowing your neighbors.

Enough of this. I'm going to leave you with another Comic Book Top-Ten, and then go be a hermit for a day.

Top Ten Ways To Get Kicked Out of Avengers Mansion
10) Allow Uncle Ultron to crash on the couch.
9) Raid Janet Van Dyne's wardrobe. Ask if she has anything smaller.
8) Accept collect calls from KANG
7) Steal Towels
6) "Borrow" Cap's Shield to go saucer-sliding in Central Park
5) Keep asking,. "How come we can't get a nifty Satellite like The Justice League?"
4) Tell Thor that your Hammer is bigger.
3) Repeatedly drop your trousers and shout, "I'm MOON Knight!"
2) Hide Iron Man's Naval Jelly.
1) Ask Jarvis to pass the Jelly when you know that it's Polaner All-Fruit.