Why Am i Such a Smartass Sometimes?
Why, when a Housemate says something like, "If The Phone Rings, I'll Be in the Bathroom."

Why am I compelled to shout back, "Where will you be if the phone doesn't ring?" or, "Okay, I'll alert the Media!"

I gotta think it gets tiresome, and it's probably one of the reasons Old Friends don't keep in touch with me.
But I can't stop myself.

And i really don't want to stop it, either. I think having a quick wit like that helps me keep my comics funny, and i wouldn't want to lose it. But I know it has to annoy people that are around me too long.

Maybe Dad didn't smack me around enough for having a smart mouth when i was a kid. Heck, Dad did just the opposite. He encouraged it by laughing.

The School bullies tried to discourage me.

Maybe now i do it just to spite those kids that pounded me for making smart-ass remarks. Yeah. That's it.

Fuck 'em.