I don't want to start off your week on a downer, But My Great Aunt Catherine passed away a few days ago. We weren't close, so i'm not devastated. I think the last time i saw her was at my Grandmother's (her sister's) funeral back in 1990. The weird thing is I was just wondering about her the week before, as i drove past her old house. This house is in a neighborhood that has become a run-down ghetto since the early 1980s, and her old block has had about five shooting deaths in the past year.

In the 1970s, I used to enjoy visiting there, where she lived with my great-Grandmother, but nowadays, (well a few months ago when i was working, that is) I hate having to go thru that neighborhood, let alone having to get out of my car, and say, deliver a Pizza.

I don't know how Aunt Catherine stayed there alone as long as she did after her Mother died. I think they put Catherine in a home in the early 1990s.

What stands more than just her passing is the milestone it creates. She was the last living member of My Grandparents' generation. I never knew any of my four grandfathers, they were all dead or in asylums before i was born. (for the complicated explanation of why i had four "grandmas", see the story in Unshaven CHI #4) So a link to family history is now closed to me. Those details about the side of the family that migrated west at the beginning of the 20th century, after a rift between brothers, and then lost touch with us, these detailss that neither my Dad or his brother Eddie are clear on, will now take painstaking research to recover, if that's at all possible.

...and my Parent's Generation is also dwindling. They're all past retirement, those that are still alive. Of my Mom's 11 siblings, only Sister Mary, and her brother Joe survive with her. Mom is 70, and has had Parkinson's Disease for over 12 years now, and I don't think she'll be around for five more years. My Dad's side of the family is longer lived. 3 of the 4 siblings are still around. Eddie is the oldest, and he's around 75. Susie must be about 62 now. Jimmy is the only dead one. He was the middle child, and the one that I'm most like, surprisingly.
Jimmy was a practical joker, and an avid hobbyist who always had a devilish grin on his face, and was always in the middle of assembling some new project. Jimmy got divorced from his wife when I was about five, and never dated again. He had a son, Scott, who left town with the ex-wife. Scott was a little less than a year older than me. I recently got in touch with Scott via e-mail, and it's a shame my limited contact with Jimmy was infinitely more than Scott ever had growing up. Jimmy moved in with my Grandmother after his divorce, and remained there until the mid-1980s, when one-day around his 50th Birthday, he went on walkabout. He just disappeared. At first, we thought it was just another Hunting Trip. A couple weeks after he left, the family got a call from State Troopers near Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Jimmy's body had been found beside the Highway. Apparently he'd been walking, hitch-hiking, and had suffered a heart Attack. Maybe he knew it was his time to die.
I remember his funeral. The morticians had put that devilish grin on his face. I kept expecting Jimmy to pop up, and shout "I Gotcha!" maybe I wanted that to happen. I know I want to have my corpse animated like that at my funeral. I also want to videotape my own Eulogy.

Dad will soon be 68, and his recent hernia operation was the first time he'd been a patient in 35 years. But still, as I watched him in the recovery room, I noticed that he'd become old, and the skin near his IV needle was papery and wrinkled. I think caring for mom is really starting to age him. I'm just noticing that People in my Family are getting old. I'm on the young end of my genration, but i have cousins and even siblings that are starting to have Heart problems, cancers, Adult-Onset Diabetes, etc. It's why I've taken care to adjust my diet (Christian, That Double Cheesburger and Fries that had you worried the other day? That was the one Cheeseburger i allow myself per week), slim down, and get regular exercise. I think I'm much healthier at 40 than I was at 30. I might not be as sane, or as gainfully employed, but such are the side effects of a real Genius that resists conformity.


So, Rambling aside, People get Old. People Die. I'm a Healthy, but Insane, Genius. I'm like Jimmy. Expect me to go on walkabout in about ten more years. That will be just about after I finally get aroound to publishing my "One Last Ride on The Ghost Truck" graphic Novel, hich has been written now for about fifteen years, and has sat by my drawing board, with two pages finished, for about five years now.

Now, i have to get dressed, and go put in some Job Applications before i go to work at the Haunted House tonight. Pain in the ass. This week the Haunted Mill is open every night, no break. Now is when it starts to feel like work.

Monday, monday, monday. It's the start of My Weekend. It's Haunted MIller Time! (sorry for the bad pun. I've gotten in the habit of shouting that in my "Monster Voice" each evening as the last victims exit the Haunted Mill.)

The Boards at Slush are kinda dead. You can really tell that Chris R. is again gainfully employed as of Today.

I watched BASEketball again this morning. When this film came out, I was still on the comp list for MOJO records because of reviews I was writing for SKA-toons.
Ah, those were heady times, when i felt important because guys in Reel Big Fish and Cherry Poppin' Daddies knew my name. Now of course, I'm Nobody Famous, Dammit!

So anyway, i was watching this movie again, because it really does have as many funny, silly moments as Airplane!, and I noticed the song "Warts on my Dick".
I thought , that's a cool song, i ought to put it on my next mixtape. So i dug out my comp disc of the soundtrack, and that song isn't on it! Boogers! I guess i can still dub it off the VHS, but then I'll have all the SFX from the scene, too. That bites. way to start the day.

On a brighter note, I checked out Seattle Comics Great David Lasky's neat website this morning. He's got some strips up there i hadn't seen before, including several that ran in The Pulse. I hope he soon ads a shopping cart system to buy his cool mini-comics, so that he doesn't have to rely on ebay.

I've been using ebay to sell my minis and other stuff recently, too, in fact this past week was pretty good for a change. I guess i had the right "other stuff" up. I mean , I only sold a few of my minis. (I guess I have to get showered so I can get the weekend's purchases out to the Post Office this Afternoon. ) I have set up a store front at my "I'm Nobody Famous, Dammit!" website, thru which you can easily acquire all the minis I have in print. With Paypal, you can easily pay with a credit card, or transfer funds from a checking account safely. If you don't have a PayPal account, sign up is easy and free at the checkout. Or you could simply e-mail me with a list of books you want, and i can arrange for you to mail payment.
here's my store link: http://www.geocities.com/bent4toons/store.html

Seeing Dave Lasky's site makes me really want to re-design my site. Maybe that's how I'll spend my days off.

If you've always been suspicious of the misleading charms of Game Show Hosts, then trip on over to Something Awful - The Internet Makes You Stupid ad check out the log for today (Oct 17). The "Truth" about Wink Martindale. It will astound you.

This is the most amazing news I've read since i learned the truth about Chuck Woolery. How he took his name from the place where he used to do such horrible things to sheep as they were sheared.

I thought I'd start using this blog as a place to jot down story ideas as I get them. Then maybe i won't forget them, and also maybe my couple or so readers can provide helpful feedback before I commit the idea to Bristol Board.

------------------------------the hurricane book idea-----------------------
I was thinking the other day about a story, where a guy in a bar watches as a girl approaches, flirts and eventually rejects him, leaving him emotionally devastated and getting "trashed" at the bar. The narrative would be like an interior monologue describing the action in Hurricane metaphor. "I feel a swell as she approaches" "These bands should forewarn me" "I'm caught in her eye, all seems unnaturally calm" etc.
Maybe the band could have a Goth following, and I could talk about "The Gathering Gloom".
My design for the cover would resemble a set of Hurricane flags, those red and black rectangles. Maybe I could make the book as tall as two flags, and cut the first half of the book horizontally, so that the two flags open independently of one another, and there's a "top story" and a "bottom story" in the first half, then the second half could be a third story that uses the whole height of the page.
i have an interesting auto-bio bar-crawl tale involving the drink "hurricane" i could use, too.
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Title Idea: "Skeletons In The Closet" This could be about anorexic fashion models, or it could be about Gay Skeletons. I wonder which would work better.

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I want to do a NASCAR mini-comic. it would be page after page of Calvin pissing on characters from other people's mini-comics.

Here's a site where you can order Custom Calvin Window Stickers.


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"Animal Magnetism" is my working title for this funny-animal project idea i have. It would be a comic strip in the vein of those refrigerator magnet poetry kits.

each individual panel and word balloon would be attached to a magnet, so that the reader can rearrange them to make up dozens of posible stories. I'd have to take care to design key panels whose lines could represent several different things. Word balloons would be designed to have multiple meanings depending on the situation.
"MMM. I Like Pie" or "Oh no! I'm Late!" could be taken many different ways, for example.

My ultimate goal for the project would be to sell starter kits, and then every six months or so produce a booster pack of new panels and balloons.

-------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to do a story about a Sock that's lost its mate in the dryer. The sock is lonely, and despondent, and considering unraveling itself, until a child finds it in the gutter, takes it home, washes it (we can explore the sock's fear of the dryer here), and hangs it by her fireplace to dry. This is when we learn that it's Christmas Eve, and Santa fills the sock with goodies. The sock is now happy because he has a reason to go on living.

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"Frustrated Genius Syndrome for Dummies"
I want to do a story about how I grew up with everybody marveling at how smart i was, and how far I'd go in life, yet at 40, I can't even keep a job as a pizza-boy. I would explain my anger at the stupidity of the world around me, how hard it is to live when you constantly feel intellectually superior to others you are stuck amidst. How I would be an Evil Genius if I could just get a handle on the whole "Evil" thing. How i blame my parents, who didn't manage to make any religion stick in me, but who did teach me right from wrong. Hence I'm just a frustrated, smart nice guy who can't stand being a nice guy. I want to be mean, and cool.

-----------------------------------------

Then one of these days I'm going to draw up my bio-piece about Screamin' Jay Hawkins that I meant to do for the Expo Anthology a couple years ago. I even collected about forty pages of notes about his interesting life. But then i couldn't think of a way to fit all the info into a good four to eight-page story in time for their deadline.
There's a lot of cool info about Jay at Screamin' Jay Hawkins (Ugu-Ugu!)
There used to be a site called Jayskids.com which had info about the 57 known children, both legitimate, and illegitimate, of the man. (He's rumored to have more than 80 kids.) but my link to that site doesn't work anymore.

Chris R., from NYC, is bugging me to update this thing. I wish he'd just get a dayjob, so I didn't have to entertain him all day. Jeez! I gave him a copy of my Howl-O-Ween tape, you'd think that would give him something else to do for at least 90 minutes of the day.
While I've been gone, I've been working to set up a mini-comics store with a shopping cart system. I got that done today, here's the link; A List of Current Comics by BenT
Please go there often, and with PayPal you can order my comics and pay with a credit card or have the funds directly transferred safely from a Bank Account. If you're not a Paypal member, you can sign up for free during the checkout process.


Another thing I've been doing with my time is "working" (actually it's volunteer work) at The Haunted Mill about 11 miles to the SW of York, in the little village of Menges Mills, PA. The Mill is an authentic 263-year-old building full of fright. I'm haunting the basement, in a sort of Cannibal/Shrunken Head get-up. So far I've made 5 people pee their pants, and about half of the people jump back a few feet when i get them.

Since I've been away, I'll give you another Top 10 list. Here are the:

Top Ten Pre-War Rumors that The Kree spread to build resentment toward the Skrulls
10) Jerry Lewis is a Skrull.
9) Skrull Real Estate agents are making the best buildings on Kree-Lar go "Condo".
8) Those Costumed Characters at Disney World? --all Skrulls.
7) Skrull cows make milk that turns into Tofu cheese.
6) Joey Buttafuoco? Larry King? J-Lo? ---Skrulls.
5) The Browns moved to Baltimore so that Skrulls could hide ships in empty stadium.
4) Skrulls are never denied service at Denny's.
3) Skrulls invented Reality Television.
2) Bill Jemas, Jim Shooter, Rob Liefeld, Ron Perlman? Skrull, Skrull, Idiot, Skrull.
1) Blizzard of 2003 was really an invasion force of billions of Tiny White Skrulls!


Okay I'm out of here for now!

HI, I haven't posted in a while because of getting ready for SPX. well, I'm back, and here are my photos: Pics From SPX 2003, The Small Press Expo.

I have a suitcase of books to read, and some drawings due for my site update, so when I'm done reading stuff I'll post my comments here.

well, I looked all around and it's gonna be hard to lay in a supply of 110 minute cassettes big enough to dub a copy of my Halloween mixtape for everybody.

I'm examining the playlist to decide where I can cut ten minutes from each side, in order to fit it onto the standard 90 min cassette that everybody still uses.

I guess since folks all got into MP3 and CD burners, the 110-minute cassette, which was designed to better fit most music CDs on a side, is becoming obsolete. Damn. I liked being able to squeeze an extra few songs per side in.
well I'll look at my play list and try to cull it again. (I've already culled down from about 200 candidate songs to get the 42 or so that made it onto the tape, I have lots of stuff that will have to hope it makes it next year already.)

Here's a website that will help you in your research if you want to get into doing your own Halloween tapes. Nightmare City Halloween is an annual radio broadcast, and is celebrating it's 25th year in 2003. At their site they have info on how to get this Year's show over the web, if you're near your computer on Halloween Night. You can also see playlists from previous shows.

Speaking of Halloween Mixtapes, as there are only 70 chopping days left, i have compiled this year's Howl-O-Ween mixtape. here's my play list:

Howl-O-Ween 2003; Curse of the BentWolf
side 1 "Moonlight Becomes You"
Intro from The Count
Danny Hutton.................................................... Monster Shindig
Screaming Lord Sutch.................................. All Black & Hairy
Nekromantix................................................... Trick or Treat
Nu-Trends......................................................... Spooksville
Louis Armstrong ............................................... Spooks
Dan Russo and His Oriole Orchestra.............. ‘Taint No Sin (to Take Off Your Skin and Dance Around in Your Bones)
Bobby “Boris” Pickett...................... The Werewolf Watusi
Jon Spencer Blues Explosion........................... She Said
Gary Warren.................................................. Werewolf
The Woggles............................................... Dracula’s Daughter
Round Robin................................................ I’m The Wolf Man
Todd Rundgren............................................ Wolfman Jack
GasHuffer................................................. Where Wolfmen Lurk
Children of The Night................................. Monster Time
L7......................................................................... Monster
Danny Hutton............................................... The Monster Jerk
The Brickbats............................................ Do The Dead Girl
The Boss Martians................................. Have You Ever Seen...?
Phantom Creeps.......................................... Intro/Dead Sled
The Superfine Dandelion............................. Janie’s Tomb


Side 2 "Fangs for the Memories"
Sheldon Allman........................... Children’s Day at the Morgue
4 Flops.................................................. Trick or Treat
The Martini Bros.......................... Nightmare (Party On Wheels)
Freddy Fortune & the Four-Gone Conclusions.. Dracula’s Deuce
Zane Brothers............................................. Dracula
The Brickbats.............................................. Dr. Acula
The Groovie Ghoulies....................... (She’s My) Vampire Girl
Adam Ant........................................................ Vampires
Children of The Night....................... Dracula’s Undying Love
Dicky Doo & The Don’ts........................ Flip Top Box
The Neanderthals...................................... I Go Ape
Tarantula Ghoul & The Gravediggers............ King Kong
Bert Convy...................................................... Gorilla
Roy Clark................................................... Spooky Movies
Cris Kevin.................................................. Haunted House
Big Bee Kornegay....................... At the House of Frankenstein
Hollywood Flames.............................. Frankenstein’s Den
Bill Cosby, briefly, on Frankenstein Movies
Eddie Thomas.......................................... Frankenstein Rock
Swinging Phillies.............................. Frankenstein’s Party
Eddie Angel & The Omega Men.. Frankie’s Groovy Monster Boots
Buck Owens................................... (It’s A) Monster’s Holiday
Deadbolt..................................................... Scare Me


If you'd like me to dub a copy of this for you, just send a blank 110-minute cassette and a SASE to:
Ben T. Steckler, POB 7273, York, PA, 17404

if you can't find 110-minute cassettes, send me a good 90-minute tape to replace the 110 from my own stash that I'll have to use. And if you have your own monster-mix that you think I'll like, we can trade.

if you want your copy in time for Halloween, get a blank out to me by the first week of October. my master gets retired from dubbing on October 15th.

Oh Boy! Folks who have been the recipient of one of my Halloween tapes can probably guess that I have a soft spot for the Classic monster movies, especially when they are used as kitschy educational or promotional tools. here's a great site where the Universal Studios fearsome folks help to teacjh kids about science. Miami Museum of Science - The Atoms Family

Here's a quote from "Frankenstein's Electrical laboratory" that take's on a strange meaning when pulled out of context:

"What is young Frankenstein doing wrong? If you guessed "pulling his toy by the power cord" you're right!

We now have a new theater in York which is bringing in more independent films. I'm anxiously hoping that I don't have to wait too long to see American Splendor, the movie version of Harvey Pekar's great comics. It stars two of the greatest lesser-known talents, Paul Giamatti and Hope Davis.

Until the movie comes out, I'll enjoy reading Harvey Pekar’s Official Blog

Today I must Say a big Happy Birthday to my Sister Tamara. Because I'm her little Brother and It's my job to torment her, i will say Nyahh, Nyaah! You're 43! I won't say anymore, because she can probably still beat me up.

While I've been away, I've had some good news, Comics-wise. Positive Reviews have been coming in for Get BenT! #10 and my FLAGWAIVER comic.
In the last week or so, I've had Great reviews in Xerography Debt, TooMuchCoffeeMan, and Razorcake for Get BenT! #10

Razorcake is a great Punk magazine, written for the mature, intelligent punk. They also gave the good nod to FLAGWAIVER

I feel better about my comics now. I have the push i needed to get my stuff together for the next show.

Hello, It's me. woe, woe, woe, and all that Todd Rundgren stuff.
If you're reading this you're probably one of those who give a damn about comic books. Good. If you're not, I'm sorry to paint you with the broad geekbrush. Please bear with me for a moment while I tell everybody about Jeff Mason's On-line Comics Community over at Delphi Forums. It's the Alternative Comics forum, but discussion there goes on about all sorts of comics and other stuff, even kitties This link will even take you to a thread where comics guys talk about their blog. Click there if you don't think you'll get trapped in a loop of infinte regression. Alternative Comics #514.1

It's Saturday, and I'm at the drawing Board, furiously trying to finish my pages for the next issue of SHIOT CROCK. It's an APA so you have to contribute to it to see a copy, but don't fear, I've designed my four pages to be easily adapted into a twelve page mini-comic, which I should have available at the Small Press Expo this year. I should also have the next f-ARTjoke compilation.

Cool News! I've been invited to be a guest at ITHACON this year. If I'm Not Careful, I might become Somebody Famous! That Link hasn't been updated to show anything more than the date and time of the next show. I'll let you know when I see something new.

To show that I'm in a better mood Than last time, Here's another Top Ten list:

Top Ten Things Howard The Duck is Doing Now
10) Taking Tambourine Lessons from Davey Jones
9) Script Consultant for Pauley Shore Films
8) Hangs out in the park whenever He's low on croutons.
7) For Kicks, puts on a Sailor Suit and walks around Disneyland goosing the single Moms.
6) Sits in with the Band at Chuck E. Cheese
5) Hangs out on the Strip, asking Hookers if they want to "get Down"
4) Fishes barbarians out of his Peanut Butter jar.
3) Stalks Members of KISS, trying to recapture past glory.
2) Waiting for a Callback from "The Mighty Ducks"
1) Watches Caroline in the City and says, "Lea Thompson? I Did Her!"

It's August and I am still in search of a purpose. My life is really nothing but a quest for distraction.
I sometimes envy people who are capable of having religious faith. I'm sure it brings meaning to life.
Sometimes I think the only emotion I'm capable of is anger, and that is usually more just out of frustration.
I haven't felt the pure passion of righteuous anger in a long time. What I get is more of a peevishness at the stupidity of my fellow man.

I have times when i feel happy, but it's more of just a momentary delight, not a true happiness. I can't get no satisfaction.
Would winning the lottery or landing a good-paying job make me happy? Well, either way, I might clear away debts and worries, and either have money to buy more distraction or less time to fill with distraction.

I used to be passionate about comics. I was the hard-core geek, spending twenty to thirty dollars every week, at a time when that would buy you more than just eight to ten comics. I looked forward to New Comic arrival day, and that was the day each week it was easiest to get out of bed.

The easiest way to end your passion for comics is to try and run a comic shop. I'm even starting to lose my passion for creating my own comics. I hope that this is just because I'm in the Doldrum weeks before I really have to get my nose to the grindstone for the next Big Show.

I need to find a passion.

Happy Sunday Afternoon.
If you've been to my site, you know that I'm a fan of Wordplay, particularly Palindromes.
Someone just brought to my attention the song BOB on Weird Al Yankovic's New Album.
Pretty funny and clever. Now go buy one of Al's Albums since you just listened to his song for free.

Here's another Top Ten:
Top Ten Tricks The Other Heroes Like To Play on DareDevil
10) Make him the Designated Driver
9) Change his porchlight to a red bulb, and give sailors his address
8) Tell Him his Tights are on Inside-out
7) Talk in Sign Language around him
6) Tell him he accidentally voted for Buchanan
5) Hide the Braille editions of Wizard
4) Trade perfumes and colognes on a daily basis, so he can't tell who's who.
3) Hold his nose, feed him onions, tell him they're apples.
2) Put big sets of concentric circles all over the place to confuse his radar sense.
1) Tie-Dye his costumes while he's sleeping.

well, It's a Hot Summer Friday Night, and I'm the loser at home writing in my Blog. Well. I'm home because something is giving me horrible gas, and the urge to run to the bathroom every 30 minutes only to let out one king-sized Fart. Perhaps it is the ghost of some angry artist whom I've offended in my f-ARTjoke comics. wooooooo.

Not that there's any good bands playing or any Movie I currently feel like wasting money to watch if I felt like going out. But, I'm Middle-Aged now, and I don't know how many Friday Nights I Have Left! But then again, when you're unemployed, every night is Friday Night.

Here's another Top Ten.

BenT Reveals The TOP TEN Pet-Peeves of The Fantastic Four's Dog
10) Long Elevator Rides to the bottom of 4-Freedoms Plaza when I have to Wee-Wee.
9) Johnny keeps Torching the Fetching Stick instead of Tossing it.
8) I get Worn Out fetching Galactus' Pipe and Slippers whenever he's in town.
7) I can't embarrass Alicia Masters by Licking My Balls unless I Slurp Real Loud.
6) Reed Richards is always demonstrating that he could lick his balls, too, if he wanted to.
5) I can never catch that damned Tigra, The Were-Woman.
4) I have Scars from Ben Grimm' Belly-Rubs.
3) Sue keeps turning my Water Dish Invisible.
2) The water in Johnny's Toilet often scalds my tongue.
1) I'm Afraid I'll get blamed for that Mess in the Negative Zone.

I was cleaning up my desk today, and i found some interesting stuff written in the back pages of one of the notebooks i keep handy. These were some Top-10 lists I made back when I still had my comic shop open. Granted, i don't have Dave Letterman's Writers, but i thought they were funny enough to share here.
But since Top-10 lists are probably as much a cliche in blogs as they are in zines, I'm only going to use them in small doses. Here's today's:

BenT's Top Ten Rejected Vanity Plates for The Batmobile
10) B WAYNE
9) JOKER B8
8) CRUS8R
7) GTHM SUX
6) BATUSI!
5) STOLEN
4) CAPED 1
3) HI BABE
2) BATS R US
1) F.O.O.M.

I'm back. I really haven't had much to say in the last couple weeks. What little I've had to say could be handled by my regular posts at the Comics Journal Messboard, and over at Slushfactory. If you're looking for any revelations about turning 40, I have none. Birthdays stopped being really important to me after I turned 25 and my auto insurance went down. All turning 40 has done is make me feel creepy when I realized that a certain pornstar I've been admiring on-line has the same Birthdate as me, but twenty years later.
I did get The Simpsons Season One DVD set from my Brother and his family. That provided a couple days of distraction from the blog. Pet-Sitting for a couple weeks also kept me away from the computer. And I re-discovered my PSOne. SIMCity 2000. spent a couple days building and destroying a city I called Bucken Fjord. I need to get my Demolition Racer disk back from my friend Eric. But I probably won't touch the playstation again for another month or so.

The Philly Zine Fest turned out to be what I expected for a first time show. I made about $50 over my expenses (which were cheap. Zine fests are so much easier on the wallet for the exhibitors than Comic conventions. But then you can expect to have lower sales. But a couple Zine fairs I go to have pleasantly surprised me there.) Most of the about 40 tables were DIY Zine Distro folk, with the usual assortment of Cometbus and Burn Collector, etc. Mary Knott and Beppi of
Pretty Beaver comics were the only other comics folk exhibiting. I did see Dave Kiersh in the crowd, but he didn't table. Robert Helms, of Guinea Pig Zero made a presentation. I was probably the only other person in the room who'd been in zines long enough to remember "Factsheet 5" when he made a reference to that old review zine.
I notice that there's a turnover in zine folk about every three years. Few people stick with it for longer. Only the really dedicated or those with deep pockets who can withstand the few-and-far-between moments of slight monetary reward.
No. I can't think of anybody who stays in zines for the financial reward. You gotta find other ways of making it reward you. Intellectually, spiritually, or perhaps they just distract you or give you an occasional smile.
The one change I'd like to see for next year at Philly is the bands. I think it's a good attraction, and having them in the same room as the exhibitors doesn't take the crowd away. But if they must be in the same room, they should keep the volume down. I had to run to the local drugstore and buy earplugs. Nobody could hold a conversation at their tables, except during the interludes. And the bands were a bit too avant-garde musically. The BR-5 were loud, boring and unintelligible. The Dirt weren't loud, but they were spacey, and rambling. Like The Flying Lizards without a rhythm section. I think a combination of the loud music and the heat in the venue caused too many folk to go sit outside, where they could converse (and smoke). This took them out of the picture as potential zine customers. Meanwhile, those of us with a table felt obligated to sit inside and withstand the loud torture, just in case somebody came to the table.

Enough ranting about that. There are a couple things I'd like to mention in the recent news.

While I'm glad that the question of Udai and Qusai's whereabouts has been finally answered quite bloodily, I'm a little disappointed thatwe couldn't take them alive. I'm not upset that they were killed. They definitely deserved to be killed, but it would have been more effective to have them killed by representatives of the Iraqui people, after a well-publicized trial for their crimes. I'm sure that now certain elements will only use them as martyrs, since they were killed by the "Infidel Imperialist Occupiers"

It's a shame that Celia Cruz, the "Queen of Salsa", has passed away. Every Network, Cable, Radio, and Print news source had ample coverage of her death. But where the hell were they during her career, while she was still alive?
Why am I, a white, middle-class, American male, only now hearing about her? Granted, I'm no fan of Salsa Music, but I'm also no fan of Rap, Hip-Hop, Pop Divas, Heavy Metal, Country, or Christian Rock, yet I have plenty of knowledge of artists in those genres, because the Mainstream Media seem to consider it newsworthy whenever one of these artists has a hangnail. Paying attention to an artist after her death, calling her "The Queen of Salsa" in two minutes of news, is little recompense for ignoring an entire musical genre otherwise. Maybe the brief bump up in record sales will help her heirs pay for her burial expenses. Yahoo!

My final rant is about all the media now changing the pronunciation of "Niger". All of a sudden, it's "Nee-zhur" instead of "Neye-jur". I suppose that this fall I will go to the fair to see the Wheat Teisures now, instead of the White Tigers.
This latest round of white-bread journalists trying to ethnically correct themselves seems to me like a typical Nigerk reaction.

Peace.

Hi. I've been away for awhile, partly because of the holidays, partly because these are the weeks that I dog and cat sit for several friends and family members, and partly because I've been working on a new mini-comic which will be available at the Philly Zine Fest this Sunday.

It's another Jack Chick Parody, but this time I've added a twist. It also parodies the old Tootsie Pop commercial, with the little boy, Mr. Turtle, and Mr. Owl.

While doing my research at the Toosie Roll site, I submitted my own results from when i was a kid. Once, on a long car ride, i counted 178 licks on a chocolate Tootsie Pop, until I reached the Tootsie Roll center. Today in my mail, I got a cool frameable certificate documenting my achievement. I like a candy company that embraces its fun side.

Another reason I've been away, is I've been making a mixtape to document my feelings about turning forty tomorrow.
Dr. Bernheisel, if you're still alive, you told me when i was only 17 that I'd have a massive Heart Attack before I turned 40.
Well, I've got less than 12 hours to go then, but If I live that long, and you feel your ears burning, it's me. I'll be screaming a massive "FUCK YOU!" in your honor, on the 40th anniversary of the moment you spanked my ass.

You were the reason i turned punk, and re-embraced Art. Why should I conform, get a well-paying job, get married and raise kids, if you're telling me I won't live to see them graduate? Thank you for stealing my desire to succeed in life.

And, for your info, Doctor, I'm a whole lot healthier now than I was at 30. Except for a full head of grey hair, I think and feel like I'm in my late 20s. My soon-to-be ten-yr-old niece, Kelly, told me the other day that she thought I was only 25.
She'll get a better birthday present from me this year.

Had I not lost my job back in April, I would be spending my 40th with a hooker in Reno. Now, I guess I'll be spending it with my Sister's cats, and drawing comics. Unless there are any hookers reading this that want to come to York for the day.